Tests and Trials

My 7th graders recently staged their own episode of "Literary Law & Order" with Prometheus as the defendant. We read in class about how the well-intentioned Titan disobeyed a direct command from Zeus and gave humans fire (along with the unfortunate "free-gifts with purchase" that came along with it, including old age, disease, and worry). Zeus was so upset with Prometheus that the Olympian sentenced the Titan to an eternity of being chained to the top of a mountain where he would become the daily breakfast buffet for the giant vultures who got to come and rip out his liver. The kids thought that punishment was slightly cruel and unusual, so we decided to set up a court appeals to rehear Prometheus's case. The kidlets did a great job filling all of the trial parts, including judge, jury, witnesses, and bailiff. I was really impressed with their command of legal jargon and courtroom protocol.

In fact, they impressed me so much that I was going to dedicate an entire post to joking about how all of their real-life court experiences had prepared them for our mock court... until recent events surrounding some of our kidlets stripped that joke off all of it's intended humor.

So instead of seeing a billion photos of last week's trials, you get to see a billion photos of my bulletin board. Isn't it pretty? Or, at least it was pretty before that blasted End of Course Assessment started ripping it to shreds.

The second semester Final Test is even meaner, hairier, slobbery, and more dangerous than the first semester Final Test. This version has mutated to include four arms, a tail, razor-sharp horns, claws, and fangs, and has a nasty case of acne that even Pro Active couldn't help.

The second semester test started breaking through the bulletin board last week, but the kidlets had done such a great job defeating his smaller and less-zit-riddled cousin in December, they weren't really too concerned about this new threat...until today when he finished breaking through the corner of the board and brought his buddy the ISAT with him.

That dastardly duo managed to cancel spring and threatened to ruin the kidlet's much-looked-forward-to Summer Vacation!

Panic began to set in but, ever the fearless leader and educational warrior the kids know they can turn to, I swooped in with a battle plan to help them defend their 4th quarter report cards.

Today we started learning the stirring battle hymn of the seventh graders, "Kill the Beast" (a re-written version of the tune from "Beauty and the Beast" that I will share on a future post) and we began to get reacquainted with Captain Study Guide. Hopefully the combination of Captain Study Guide's vast store of knowledge and the adrenaline-producing strains of our ECA song will overpower the evil tests and liberate the kidlets from a dreary future of summer school and/or punishment chores.

Of course, after we spend 7 weeks getting ready, they had better defeat that test by a pretty sound margin...otherwise cranky parents, extra chores, and confiscated Wii's are going to be the least of the kidlet's problems.

Seriously.

Where do you think Zeus learned that whole "daily disemboweled by giant vultures" trick?

From his 7th grade English Teacher.

It's in the handbook.