An Observation

I have been very privileged over the past ten months to have had the opportunity to prepare and teach Sunday school lessons based on the principles taught in the Doctrine and Covenants.

I have learned so much about Church history and gospel doctrines as I have prepared to teach my fellow branchers, and I have been blessed with a better understanding of the Great Plan of Happiness and with many beautiful insights into my personal place in the building up of God's Kingdom on the earth.

Of course, if you would like to hear about any of those increased understandings or beautiful insights, there are plenty of open seats in Sunday school. Today, in this post, I will be sharing one of my not-so-spiritual insights that I have been pondering the last few months, the sort of telestial observation that my family has become somewhat infamous for. And that observation is....


...that the names of figures in Church history sound an awful lot like the names of Harry Potter characters.

Really.

Quite a few of the Potter-worthy names show up in the Doctrine and Covenants themselves, while others are mentioned in books like "The History of the Church: Period 1," and "Making Sense of the Doctrine and Covenants".

Sure, the volumes of Church history may not be filled Dudley Dursleys, Hermione Grangers, or Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledores, but I think you might be surprised at similarities in nomenclature in two of my favorite subjects.

A quick perusal of a book on LDS history will provide you with a nice list of names like Elias Higbee, Pomeroy Tucker, Aurelia Rogers, Artemus Millet, Abner Cole, and Samuel Bogart...

... who should not be confused with Elphias Doge, Gildroy Lockheart, Amelia Bones, Amycus Carrow, Aberforth Dumbledore, and the very unfriendly boggert that resides in the wardrobe in the Hogwarts faculty lounge.

Church history has Albert Rockwood, while Harry Potter has Albert Runcorn. You can learn about Cornelius Gillam in your institute of religion class, and then learn about Cornelius Fudge in children's lit.

You could ask your religion professor to instruct you about the life and times of Hepzibah Richards. Then you could ask your twelve year old neighbor to enlighten you about the fictional life and times of Hestia Jones.

Armondo Dippet: Harry Potter

Algernon Gilbert: Church History

Sirius Black: Harry Potter

Cyrus Dallin: Church History

Thurlow Weed & Wandle Mace: Church History

Marcus Flint, Alfred Cattermole, Pius Thicknesse: Harry Potter

You can learn about Bathsheba Smith and Minerva Teichert at LDS.org, and you can learn about Bathhilda Bagshot and Minerva McGonagall at Muggle.net.

And do any of you want to hazard a guess as to which books you might find the names Dedalus Diggle, Philo Dibble, Philastus Hurlburt, or Phineas Nigellus?

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have an institute lesson on the great apostasy and restoration to prepare. And after that, I am going to start working on my thesis comparing the birth dates of the religious reformers of the 1400-1600's to the home addresses of the campers in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series.

And after that, I might just get a life.

I'm back!

In case you haven't noticed by the lack of blog posts lately, I have been kind of busy the last two weeks or so.

This round of busy has been of the "good busy" variety, though, so I won't complain too much.

My days have been packed with Project Rudolph goals, Institute classes and inservices, temple trips, house hunting, teaching, teaching, more teaching, and, of course, sanitizing and disinfecting everything and everyone in my classroom in what I hope will be a successful attempt to escape a case of the much-dreaded piggy flu.

I spent quite a bit of time redecorating my classroom to fit both the Halloween season, and our second quarter science fiction/fantasy unit.

Spending all that time hanging famous author tombstones, creating monster wall decorations, brainstorming bulletin board ideas, and spreading fake spiderwebs all over my room seemed like a good idea at the time...

...but my euphoria over my classroom's makeover faded faster than my permanent-marker-fumes-induced-contact-high when I remembered that 1st quarter ends this week and I still have piles and piles of grading to do before report cards can be printed.

Of course, I could have graded papers at home had I ever, you know, been home for any extended periods of time. But while attending movies, Pampered Chef parties, choir practices, temple trips, institute classes, and family home evening activities may have contributed to my grade book's delinquency, I am a much happier person thanks to the much-needed social interaction they provided.

And speaking of interacting, this past weekend I had the opportunity to interact with my family and some dear friends when I returned to my parental homeland to attend the homecoming of Elder Nick Demitropoulos. He came home from Croatia last week, which gave his sister (and my friend) Brook a reason to leave her budding empire in Las Vegas to come for a visit. I was happy to see Nick looking so very celestial, and to see Brook, who was looking so very in-a-committed-relationship-ish, reunited after Nick's two-plus years abroad.
I arrived back in my cute little cow town just in time to throw on my petticoat and race over to our stake's musical presentation celebrating Joseph and Hyrum Smith. It was a beautiful program, but I since I got to wear a petticoat in public, I would have counted the evening as a success even if the whole choir would have come down with piggy flu simultaneously and ended up coughing and puking in harmony all night long. You may think me strange for saying so, but if loving to wear a petticoat is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

Of course, I got more than a few strange looks from my neighbors as I ran from my apartment to my car in my pioneer garb, but it probably helped prepare them for the rest of the week.

My cute little school has been observing red ribbon week by sponsoring spirit days with different themes. Monday was weird hair day, so I sported a purple-do that the neighbors and my Branch FHE family thought was very, ummmmm, interesting. Tuesday I ran out of the house covered in newly acquired D.I. ties for tie day. Wednesday was hippie day (Yes, we had a hippie day during our anti-drug week, but please don't scoff until you have walked a mile in our bell bottoms) and today was funky hat day. As traumatized as I'm sure my neighbors must have been, I think they should count their lucky stars that they are all asleep at 5 a.m. when I leave my home looking like a cave troll to exercise. My walking buddy Krystal would tell them that there are much, much worse things than seeing me with purple hair. MUCH WORSE.

But I think the best "new look" of the past few weeks has to go to my NFL-employed brother who made his print debut as T.O.'s body double on the Bill's new popcorn buckets. You see, T.O. didn't show up for the practices when the publicity shots were being taken, so Spencer got to put on T.O.'s gear and do the photo shoot for him. My mom and I have had a ton of fun showing Spencer's photos off to our kidlets, who seem a little confused when we point him out.

I'm sure they would be a lot less confused if I explained to them about how Photoshop was involved in making Spence's tall, pale, and handsome looks a lot less pale, but like I said, I have been pretty busy lately. Maybe I'll get around to telling them about it next week.

Or maybe not.

Most Likely To...

Due to an unfortunate combination of all-day 7th grade activities, shortened school weeks, and afternoon meetings at the district office, I didn't see my yearbook staffers for two weeks.

Two WHOLE weeks.



Of course, I left them with plenty to do. We sent out our yearbook "favorites" surveys a few weeks ago, so I thought my necessary absences would be a great time for the yearbook jedi to count them.


All of them.



They complained a bit at first, but after they realized that I wasn't going to unchain them from their desks until they had counted and tallied every last vote, they quickly resigned themselves to their sad, paper-cut-riddled state of existence, stopped begging for bathroom breaks and sips of water, and tallied like there was no tomorrow.

The result of their diligent, and only somewhat coerced effort, was a list of winners for the various "favorites" categories. As I pursued the names of those kidlets who had been declared "Most Likely to Rule The World", "Most Likely to Win a Reality Show", and "Most Likely to Crash the Driver's Ed Car", and so on, I got to thinking about the "favorites" lists in my old yearbooks.

I operated far enough below the radar in junior and senior high to escape consideration during the favorites voting process. And I was fine with that. But now, thanks to the evil geniuses who run Yearbook Yourself, I have the opportunity to declare various versions of myself as the winners of all sorts of prestigious yearbook awards.

Behold: Miss H Through the ages...

Most Likely To Be a Wall Flower at a USO Dance

Most Likely To Work The Switchboard As a Telephone Operator

Most Likely To Join "Hair Club for Women"

Most Likely To Be Mistaken For My Mother's Jr. High Photos




Most Likely To Suffer Permanent Hair-Weight-Related Spinal Damage

Most Likely To Be Confused With My Mother's High School Photos

Most Likely To Unknowingly Waste $20 on a Baggie of Oregano.



Most Likely To Be Eaten First If A Plane Full of Her Soccer Buddies Crashed in the Andes.

Most Likely to Guest Star in An Episode Of "Charlie's Angels".

Most Likely To Own a Pet That Looks Just Like Herself

Most Likely To Date Guys Named Vince, Guido, Nicky, or Dominic.

Most Likely To Die Tragically In a Freak Hairspray vs. Flame Accident

Not to be confused with...

...Most Likely To Be Maimed In A Tragic Crimper Accident.

Most Likely To Be Cast As "Vanessa" In a "Cosby Show" Tribute.




Most Likely To Fall In Love With A Guy Named "Ross" While Sipping Hot Beverages Out of Over-Sized Cups at Central Perk.

After seeing all those great looks (and many, many more!!!) I found my actual 2009-2010 school photos to be a bit of a let down.

Which is why I think I will print this one out to go in our faculty photo display on the wall at the junior high. REALLY.

But I'm wondering which "Most Likely To..." I would win with this awesome-possum look. Any ideas?

Hmmmmmm....I think I just found the kidlets' bell work question for Monday. This should be FUN!

Ant Mindy

House ants are social insects of the family Formicidae, and along with the related wasps and bees, they belong to the order Hymenoptera.


Aunt Mindy is an anti-social member of the family H***, and because of the related brothers and sisters, belongs to the order of “cool visiting aunts”.

House ants have colonized almost every landmass on Earth. The only places lacking indigenous ants are Antarctica and certain remote or inhospitable islands.


Aunt Mindy has colonized the homes of almost all of her married siblings. The only place lacking visits from Aunt Mindy is upstate New York, due to it’s remote location and the airline industry’s inhospitable fees.


House ant societies have division of labor, communication between individuals, and an ability to solve complex problems.


Aunt Mindy also adheres to a strict division of labor, communicates between individual niblets, and has an ability to solve complex problems, like how to convince certain nephews that they do not need to personally supervise all of Aunt Mindy’s bathroom time.

Many human cultures make use of house ants in cuisine, medication and rituals. Some species are valued in their role as biological pest control agents. However, their ability to exploit resources brings ants into conflict with humans, as they can damage crops and invade buildings


Many siblings and in-laws make use of Aunt Mindy in child care and child entertainment. Sometimes Aunt Mindy is valued by niblets in her role as present and/or junk food provider. However, her ability to provide gifts and sugar-saturated foods brings Aunt Mindy into conflict with parents, as her influence can damage appetites and teeth, and has also been known to result in small children singing country songs with inappropriate lyrics.


Ants form symbiotic associations with a range of species, including other ant species, other insects, plants, and fungi. They are preyed on by many animals and even certain fungi.

Aunt Mindy forms symbiotic associations with a range of nieces, nephews, sisters-in-law, sisters, brothers-in-law, brothers, toy store owners, and doughnut manufacturers. Aunt Mindy is preyed on by purse-stealers and commitment-phobic guys who “just want to be friends”.

Ants perform many ecological roles that are beneficial to humans, including the suppression of pest populations and aeration of the soil. On the other hand, ants can become nuisances when they invade buildings, or cause economic losses.

Aunt Mindy performs many roles that are beneficial to family members, including holding squishy babies and babysitting rambunctious and somewhat destructive toddlers. On the other hand, Aunt Mindy can become a nuisance when she invades homes, or sends ninja and/or karate themed dvds.

The biggest difference between house ants and aunt Mindy? House ants are motivated by basic, natural, survival instincts. Aunt Mindy is motivated by naughty, yet adorable nieces, violent, yet stinkin' cute nephews, and by squishy, slobbery babies named Milo.

Ants also probably do get to go to the bathroom by themselves every once in a while.

But except for the bathroom entourage, being an AUNT is vastly superior to being an ANT.