Wherein the Kidlets Meet a Kid and Discover How Much They Have in Common

Being a rural school marm for nigh on ten years now, I have gotten pretty used to having experiences of an agricultural nature. Just this week I read a poem extolling the virtues of John Deere vs. Case tractors, scored one speech about saddling a horse for barrel riding and another about calve roping, and had a student dress up as a rodeo clown for career day.

The animal husbandry highlight of the week happened early, though, when this little guy got to spend Monday roaming around the school.

It seems that the goat's momma had died in childbirth (goatbirth?), and needed to be bottle-fed every two hours. His owner/our science teacher had arranged for a goat-sitter for the rest of the week, but couldn't find anyone to take the fuzzy little thing on Monday. So he came to school where he was loved and adored by the kidlets.

If you ever want to see some eighth grade boys who think they are tough, grown up, manly punks squeal like six-year-old girls at a princess party, just hand them a two day old goat.  

A few times during the day, parents or other visitors would catch sight of the little critter, prompting them to ask the principal what a goat was doing in the building. Our principal rotated tales, telling some people that we were changing our school mascot and telling others that we were helping the sheriff's office train the newest addition to their drug-sniffing-animals squad.

At the end of the day, as the 8th grade boys were finishing up taking selfies with the goat, I told Mr. Anderson that he should cancel the goat-sitter and just bring the little guy to school for the rest of the year. He nixed that idea, saying it wasn't a good idea to keep an animal like that at school. I replied, "The eighth graders are fuzzy, smelly, messy, and eat all sorts of things they shouldn't, but we let them stay." He laughed and admitted there was some truth to that, but then added that the 8th graders don't poop in the floor.

I can see his point, but I am going to check with the custodians. If it turns out that the kidlets spread just as much manure around as the fuzzy little chocolate chip maker (our principal's technical term for baby goats), I am going to petition to have it come back for the last few days. I think those big, tough 8th grade boys could do with a little more squealing and melting before they head over to the big scary high school for 9th grade.

Itsy Bitsy Biblical Scholars

A few weekends ago, I made a quick visit to the land of my nativity to see my most babiest of brothers, his sweet wife, my Idaho niblets, their sweet mom, and my elderly parents. It was a busy 24 hours full of fun adventures, but the most fun by far had to be our trip to the zoo.

Kenna and Kylie spent their formative years exploring the zoo, so once they got through the gates they were pretty much just blurs as they ran from exhibit to exhibit, checking on all of their old pals. They LOVE the zoo.

 Kristie, on the other hand, was seeing the zoo for the first time. She did a lot of looking around and seemed to do a lot of deep thinking. Since the only other animals she has spent time with have been her siblings, perhaps she was pondering the idea of using cages at home? You can almost hear her thinking, "Hey....that could work!"

And then there was Bubba.

The Mighty Bubbs seemed to have a great time (especially once his good behavior earned him early parole from the back-pack-leash-of-shame), until we got to the lions. Instead of hollering to the animals and trying to get the closest view possible like he had at every other exhibit, Bubba held his tongue and kept his distance.

His mom picked him up so he could get a better view, then she said something to the effect of, "Aren't those lions neat?" But Bubbs vigorously shook his head in disagreement. In the photo below, she is trying to convince him that the lions are "nice", while he is adamantly disagreeing, "They are MEAN!"

I thought it was kind of funny that the lions made Fearless Bubba nervous. Later that day, I wondered aloud if Spider Man or Iron Man had ever faced off against lions in any of the cartoons the little guy likes to watch. Perhaps one of his heroes getting a sound beating from a lion could convince Bubba that they were bad?

It wasn't until I was driving home the next morning when another thought struck me upside the head. I remembered that Bubba wasn't Bubba's ACTUAL name! His real name is DANIEL, which put me onto a whole other train of thought. I started to wonder if, perhaps, the story of Daniel in the Lion's den had been mentioned in nursery recently?

Or, more likely perhaps, had his older sisters learned the story in primary and then retold it to their little brother... maybe late at night in their darkened room. Might they have"forgotten" to specify that it was a particular Daniel who got tossed into the lions' den, or"accidentally"  implied that ALL Daniels are favorite chew toys of that particular breed of cat? That might explain his reaction at the zoo.

And there is precedent in our family for older siblings getting a little confused when it comes to younger siblings with biblical names.

Case in point: When I went to help out at Jenny and John's for a week after Jonah was born, little Bentley can home from Sunbeams and informed me that we need to go outside and "Kill the Whaley Fish." Being the intelligent and articulate woman that I am, I responded, "Huh?"

Bentley then went on to explain that in primary he had learned that the Whaley Fish wanted to eat his new baby. So, because Bentley is a good big brother and I am an easily amused aunt, we grabbed some weapons and headed outside where we kept watch for that sneaky, baby-eating Whaley Fish. 

We might never know if Daniel was adverse to the lions because he was worried he might end up in the same hairy situation as his biblical namesake, or if he was just remembering that Spider Man had  gotten his behind kicked by a cartoon lion at some point. But either way, it made for a pretty funny conversation to watch at the lion exhibit. 

And at least he doesn't have a problem with stone lions. 

Which one is really the King of Beasts?

For My Nephews

The English kidlets have spent the past week weeks studying Greek mythology... one of their favorite topics. We spent a few class periods putting Theseus on trial for one count of regicide in the death of the Minotaur (a 1/2 prince of Crete),  spousal abandonment (he "accidentally" left his wife of 14 hours on a nearly deserted island), and involuntarily patricide in this death of his father, King Aegeus of Athens (who threw himself to his death off of a rocky cliff because Theseus had another forgetful moment.) We also held an appeals trial for Prometheus who felt that his punishment (being chained to a mountain for eternity and having a giant vulture rip out his liver every single day) was cruel and unusual and didn't fit his crimes (disobeying Zeus, theft of fire, and reckless endangerment of the lives of humans). 

The myth trials (formulating and supporting arguments... and some brilliant acting) is pretty intensive, so for the last day or so we finished out our mythology unit by creating our own constellations and writing myths to explain them. The kidlets have done such a great job, I couldn't resist sharing some of them with my mythology-interested nephews. I wish I could post ALL of the kid's myths... but I don't know that the niblets could make it though 85 of them. So here are some that I thought Bentley, Max and Joe might enjoy.

 One day, an old man named Victor Mills was inventing Pampers: a kind of soft, comfortable diaper that a baby could wear. Eros, the god of love, (also known as Cupid) wears a cloth that is itchy and uncomfortable. So he came to Victor and said, “Could you make me a diaper that would be fit for a God?” So Victor invented Pull Ups. Eros thanked him and put his wonderful invention in the sky as a constellation. (C.H.)

The [Cowtown] Bobcats softball team was the finest softball team in the land. They played over 50 tournaments every year. One day, Zeus decided to come down from Mount Olympus to watch the Bobcats play in their very last tournament of the year. Zeus got the best seat, which was directly behind home plate. He loved how quick and aggressive they were while they were playing. When the Bobcats bit the softball, it reminded Zeus of the sound his lightning bolts made when he hurled them at humans. Zeus thought that softball was a pretty great sport, so he decided that he would put a glistening constellation of a softball in the sky to honor it. (A.L.)

 When the great Zeus created the first penguin, he was so pleased with himself that he decided to keep it with him at Mount Olympus. Hera, however, was not pleased with Zeus’s creation. You see, Zeus paid absolutely no attention to his wife after getting his penguin. Hera did everything she could to get rid of that annoying creature. She took away the penguins’ power of flight, and even banished the penguin’s family to the coldest part of the world. But however hard she tried, the penguin wasn't phased by any of the misfortunes she cast on him. Finally, Zeus realized what was happening to his little friend and he stopped Hera from doing any more harm. To remind his wife of her great failure, Zeus put a picture of his amazing penguin in the highest sky. (K.W.)

One rainy day, Poseidon and Zeus were making ran and lighting when Poseidon heard a wave…but in a weird place: an Athenian home. Poseidon went down to investigate. He disguised himself as a plumber and said that Athenian’s water system was “unique”, so they gladly let him in. He went into the bathroom to see the thing that was making the wave sound, but he didn’t know what the thing was. Poseidon asked, confused, “What is this remarkable work of porcelain that is fit for even the mighty lord Poseidon?” The Athenian answered, “We call it the potty, the porcelain throne, or , as it is more widely known, the toilet. Poseidon was mesmerized by how this mechanism could summon and cast off water with the flick of a wrist. Poseidon had to thank these people for what they made. He finally tool off his disguise, stole their toilet, and put it in the sky next to Aquarius. (C.F.)

Don't Worry, I'm Not Going to Quit My Day Job

About two weeks ago, the DJ who had been booked for the junior high's Spring dance called to say she wouldn't be able to come. The Spring dance is the much-anticipated last dance of the year, and it had already been postponed once, so the student council advisers decided to take drastic action.

The decided to ask me to be the DJ.

And I said yes.

When I said yes, I have to admit that I was picturing myself kind of like this...

...or maybe a little more like this...

But the more I thought about it, I realized that the kidlets would probably see me more like this...

And then I started to panic a little.

I mean, I think I am pretty cool.

And the kids seem to think I am pretty cool ... for a teacher. 

But being a pretty cool teacher is not in the same zip code as being a pretty cool DJ.

Then I realized that I have spent the last ten years scoring coolness points with the kidlets, but one afternoon as a lame DJ at the last dance of the year could totally bankrupt me in the coolness department. It would take years to recover my reputation. 

So then I started to panic a little more. 

That second wave of panic led to this box being taped to the wall in the lunchroom for a week.

I thought that if the kidlets requested songs for the dance and I played the songs they requested, I could bask in their reflected coolness...

 ... and if they decided the music was lame, I could totally blame it on them. 

Then, in an attempt to give them something to focus on besides the music, I put together a video using photos and video clips the yearbook kids gathered over the year.

And then I worried some more.

But I am pleased to announce that the dance was yesterday and I seem to have survived with my reputation intact. I am still pretty cool... for a teacher.

The student council and art classes put together some awesome decorations.

And plenty of kidlets showed up.

Some of them even danced!

 I ended up having a pretty good time choosing tunes, taking requests, and using the microphone to encourage the kids to show off their sweet moves. 

I also managed to get almost all of my 2B creative writing classes final poetry projects graded.

I'd like to see a professional DJ manage that in a dark room with super loud music while counseling lovelorn 8th graders. 

The 2014 PE Shower Song

In two weeks, the junior high will be invaded by hordes of 6th graders. They will spend the afternoon, touring the school, meeting the teachers, opening the lockers (or, at least, trying to open them), and watching the 12 minute orientation video...that I still need to make. 

For the past few years, the highlight of the orientation video has been the shower song, a musical number designed to calm the almost-kidlets' fears about showing after PE. Each year, we rewrite a popular song to be about post-PE showers. Last year, Gangnam style became "Shower PE Style". Before that, there was a song and dance number to the tune of Party Rock Anthem that went something like, "PE is on our minds tonight, exercising is a really good time. Don't let the showers make you lose your mind, they can help you to smell just fine.... Everyday I'm showering."

This year, a very honorable honor's kidlet took the initiative to rewrite "Do You Want To Build a Snowman?" for this year's shower song. Today, the rest of the honor's class took some time to bring his vision to life. They did a great job, especially considering we only took about ten minutes to practice, plan, and rehearse. I hope the 6th graders think the song is as awesome as I think these 7th graders are. It is a shame they will have to become 8th graders next year. Perhaps I should consider failing them all so I can keep them another year?

Shower Song 1 from Mindy Haws on Vimeo.

Two minutes of the orientation video down, ten more to go!

An Unforeseen Consequence of National History Day

A while back, the kidlets competed in a National History Day competition at school. Then, because they would have another opportunity to present their projects a few days later at Family Reading Night, many chose to leave their projects at school for the rest of the week. 

That wouldn't have been a problem, except that they left their projects on the stage... which happens to be right outside my classroom.

Which meant that, every time I walked though my classroom door...

...Particularly later on in the evening when the school was pretty much empty except for me and the custodians...

...I would get a few yards into the dark, eerily silent cafetorium (cafeteria/auditorium) and then catch sight of an unknown person lurking in the shadows, watching me. And then I would jump about a foot in the air and suffer extreme heart palpitations.

You would think that after one or two times of being thoroughly startled by this life-sized educational display, I would remember it was there and have a near heart attack every time I walked to or from the workroom, the mail room, or the bathroom. Yep, that's what you would think. But you would be wrong. Because it scared me more than once a day for a week. And that's not counting the frights his buddy, the life-sized cardboard cutout of one of the kidlet's missionary brother (his presentation was about the Rights and Responsibilities of LDS Missionaries).

Although I have to admit that I was impressed with the kidlet's ingenuity, next year, I hope they go back to using gold old fashioned tri-fold poster board.

And speaking of the kidlets, if you missed this skit on Studio C, or didn't click on the link I posted on Facebook, you have to watch this. It might be the funniest (and maybe truest) on the internet.

And then, if you somehow missed this one on Facebook, you should check it out too.

Flashback to Spring Break

Spring break ended over a week ago and, since the kidlets and I are currently knee-deep in new tests, it seems like a good time to review what a nice break it was.

I got to help celebrate the Monchichi's birthday and watch as she and Kenna tried out her new ballet DVD. Needless to say, they have much smoother moves than their aunt.

We also used Grandma's fancy-scmancy croissant recipe to make cronuts (croissant-doughnuts). They were very yummy... probably because they violate every rule of healthy eating, twice.

We also introduced Kristie to cronuts, but she was more interested in playing with them than eating them...which is probably why she will out-live the rest of us by 40 years or so.

 I got to go on a couple of fun dates with Milo, including a trip to McDonalds where he had his FIRST EVER Happy Meal. Seriously. The kid had never had one before. No lie. Poor little guy.

His mother managed to distract me from filing a complaint with Child Services by taking me out for some seriously awesome food... a visit to a gourmet grilled cheese food truck, a stop at our favorite Cupcake Wars winning cupcake boutique, and lunch at New Jenny's street taco place.

I got a lot of Utah niblet time in. I watched Jonah and John's soccer game with Max, went ear ring shopping with Ruby, cheered on Bentley when he solved his Rubics cube, and made Stormageddon cry just by looking in his direction.

The little guy has hit that stranger-danger stage and went scrambling towards his momma if I even looked like I was thinking about picking him up.

Spring Break ended with our stakes celebration of the Women's Broadcast. Our presidency was able to work together with the stake Primary and Young Women's to put on a nice post-meeting shin-dig complete with refreshments and free photo shoots. My pal Val even defected from the other stake to come and hang out with me that night. Thanks Val!

 Oh, and did I mention that Brianna and Spencer had their little Morgan Joyce?

It was a nice break, but it was also nice to get back in the swing of things. And boy oh boy, did things get swinging again pretty fast.

Three days after the Women's Broadcast, our stake Relief Society dinner centerpieces were liberated from my guest room, given a make-over, and used to adorn 44 tables at the Stake High Priests Dinner.

And now I am looking forward to a few more rounds of testing, a stake auxiliary training, the 6th grade orientation, the 7th grade honors English preposition walk to DQ, Parent-Involvement training meetings, school leadership team meetings, district leadership team meetings, and yearbook distribution.

So it is probably a good thing that summer break won't be too far behind.