Sick

I am sick. And not the "evil martian death cold" kind of sick that I am so prone to complain about. This isn't "annoying" sick.

This is "Go to the doctor" sick. "

"Go to school at 5 a.m. to write sub plans" sick.

"Sick" sick.

I have a wretched case of strep throat... so wretched that I think at least four different kidlets must have infected me with at least four different strains of strep, and those strains are now holding a "Miss Miserable" pageant in my very unhappy body.
Hey...wait a second...if germs really did have a "Miss Miserable" pageant, would they have a swimsuit contest? I mean, a talent portion I could understand, and the "question from the judges" segment would be vital because I'm sure the germs would have a lot to say about world peace and child literacy, but are germs concerned enough with their own physical appearance to stage a swimsuit competition? And if they did, would they wear one or two piece suits?
Oops. Sorry about that little jaunt down Crazy Lane.

It must have been the fever talking.

And speaking of the fever talking, it did just that at our district language arts in-service on Thursday. I was asked to give a presentation on some of the activities I do with my kidlets (the same kidlets who infected me with Strep...you know who you are) and I was pretty nervous. After all, a few of those teachers, the ones I was supposed to "teach", have been teaching longer that I have been alive. I decided to do two separate segments: Physical Grammar and Interactive Literature. One of the things I talked about in the Physical Grammar segment was Parts of Speech Twister.
Parts of Speech Twister is something that I had wanted to set up to do with my kidlets (the same kidlets who breathed a Niagara of Strep bacteria onto me earlier in the week) but didn't get around to doing...until this week. I figured I should actually try it before presenting the idea so I quickly turned the B-day kidlets into Guinna pig-lets and it ended up being quite successful. Of course before you try it at home, please remember that in my classroom the definition of "successful" has more to do with causing minimal amount of property damage or physical injuries.

I also talked about my sentence dissection unit. The other teacher's liked how the whole "dissection" thing made diagramming sentences fun. A few of them even commented on how neat it was to include the surgical masks and gloves in the activity. Now, of course, I am wishing I had used the surgical masks and gloves for every activity. Maybe they would have prevented my current condition.

I started feeling gross after institute Wednesday evening, then proceeded to feel grosser and grosser as the night progressed. By the time the in-service rolled around at 8:30 the next morning, I was both sleep-less and voice-less. Not a good combination for presenting to a room full of English teachers. But somehow I survived with my job and my peer's respect intact...

...and made it to an hour-long GEAR-UP meeting at my school before heading home to convalesce. At that point, I thought a little bit of rest would cure me, and if not I would try to get in to see the doctor after school the next day. Alass, such would not be the case. I spent the night on my couch rotating between being extremely nauseous, coughing my head off, and having those weird fever dreams.

The kind where you dream about freaky stuff like this...

By 4:30 Friday morning, it had become painfully obvious that teaching (or talking or standing for any extended periods of time) wasn't going to be an option, so I pulled on some clothes and drove over to the school to put some sub plans together. I saw the doctor later that morning and he gave me a helpful prescription and some not-so-helpful advice (Seriously, if I could stop the kidlets from breathing on me, I WOULD!). So I started taking an antibiotic Friday afternoon, along with ibuprofen for the fever and aches and pains, cough syrup for the apartment-shaking cough, Claritin D to un-stuff my seriously congested sinuses, Cepacol spray to deaden the searing pain in my throat, and DQ Grape slushies to remind me that there were somethings in life worth living for,

So when I had dreams like this last night (and a few times when I was pretty sure I was awake this afternoon) I wasn't sure which "cure" to blame.

But now, after three days of being completely miserable and completely worthless, I think I am on the mend. I can swallow without wanting to cry. I can breath through one of my nostrils. The coughing and nausea are subsiding, and my voice now sounds like it belongs to someone with a three pack a day habit instead of having no voice at all. By Monday I should be back in prime teaching form, but until then I am going to enjoy a few of the perks of being sick...

...staying in my pajamas all day, eating Popsicles, and whining about how wretched I feel...

... and pondering that whole "germ swimsuit" question. Seriously germs, one-piece or two-piece? Heels or flats? Inquiring (and fevered) minds want to know!