Mean Old Aunt Mindy vs. The Sleeping Baby

Look! It's beautiful Kylie Marie sweetly sleeping, dreaming of bright lights, warm milk,

and being an only child.

Oh no! It's mean old Aunt Mindy Marie!

She has come to wake up sweet little Kylie!

Watch out Kylie!

Huh?" says Kylie. "What's going on? Did I sleep in? Am I late for one of my important eating, screaming, or pooping appointments?"

"Yawwwwwwwn." Poor Kylie. Being little and cute is such hard work!

What the heck Aunt Mindy!" Kylie shouts. "Are you on crack?!?! I was sleeping!!!"

Yawwwwwn." Wow. Being mad at mean old Aunt Mindy sure is tiring.

"I think I'll just hang out and shoot her dirty looks until I can muster up the energy to blow my diaper out all over her favorite sweatshirt."

Ra! Ra! Ra, ra, ra! Goooooo Cougars!!!!

Greg's big week continues! Today he found out he was accepted to BYU Unleaded for Winter Semester! Congrats Greg!

Here he is (in his BYU pants) doing a celebratory dance with Kenna. BYU must have heard about his sweet moves and unique rhythm and couldn't pass up an opportunity to have grooving Greg on campus.

My Elder Younger Brother

It was a big week for my little brother. Of course, at 6'1'' he's not technically "little", but as the youngest of my parent's six pack, he will always be the baby of the family.

Anyway, back to Greg's big week. Monday night, he graduated from high school. Tuesday morning he became an unemployed drain on society. Just kidding! Tuesday he started a full time job and and is happily contributing to the gross national product until this winter when he becomes a full time student...and an unemployed drain on society. Love ya, Greg! Today, Greg graduated from the Young Men's program and was ordained an Elder. Spencer and Brianna were in town so Greg got to have two of his three brothers stand in while our dad did the actual ordaining. It would have been nice to have all six kids there, but Jenny's family had just been up two weeks before and we didn't think Mikey's mission president would let him fly up from Brazil for the day.
Congratulations Greg! To be honest, we're just glad you survived your three older brothers long enough to attend high school, let alone graduate or become an Elder. Enjoy your brief stay in the working world before you enter the alternate universes of BYUI and the mission field.

Finals Week

Oh no! Summer is almost here but before they can enjoy it the kidlets must defeat the big, hairy, slobbery, fanged test known as the End of Course Assessment! The ECA wants to gnaw on the kidlet's cute little brains. It wants to slime their report cards with it's patented parent-angering-mucus. It wants to get them grounded from their wii's and saddled with extra animal poop-related chores for the first three weeks of vacation!Who can save these sweet, innocent, good natured, and slightly stinky (the hormones started kicking in a few weeks ago) 7th graders from this uglyified beasty?
Only Captain Study Guide has the power to defeat the ECA! Will the kidlets utilize Captain Study Guide's powers and slay the beast before it slays their grades? Will they run to the mail box next week so they can show off their beautiful grades? Or will they run to the barn to try to get their 4-H pig to eat that report card before their parents see it?
Tune in next week to find out!

(unless the kids totally tank it, in which case it will not be safe to mention the ECA's or the kidlets around Miss H for at least three weeks)

Miss H and the DQ Adventure

I HATE field trips. So when I found out that the yearly honor's field trip to Twin wasn't going to happen, I did a happy dance. My honor's kidlets, on the other hand, mourned like they just got the news that their grandmother, puppy, and wii had all died together in a tragic jet-ski accident. So because I can't stand to see high achievers cry (and because I really didn't want to have to come up with a lesson plan for 3rd hour) I got the principal's ok and their parents permission to walk them to Dairy Queen between finals today.



The kidlets had some fun stuff waiting for them back in our room at school, so they were in a pretty big hurry to get their treats and get back. We walked the mile from the school to DQ in 16 minutes. I spent the entire 16 minute stretch hollering things like, "Stay together! We need to stay together! Nick! Get back here! No, you are not going to take a short cut through your grandma's back yard! Ethan and Spencer, this is not a track meet! Walk with the rest of the group! Molly, you are not a cat! Girls! Where are you going? Stay with the group!"
The good folks at DQ were great, especially when you consider that I never called them to warn them that I would be bringing 30 7th graders to get ice cream right in the middle of the lunch rush. We were pretty organized, however, and everyone had their treats in under 15 minutes.
I was the last one to order and the nice lady at the register said she was supposed to give me whatever I wanted for free.I'm not sure what inspired their charity. It could have been policy, gratitude, or just out and out pity.
Probably pity.

I let the kids sit and eat while I took a moment to seriously consider my life decisions up to this point, then rounded them up and moved them out. We only had one casualty on the way home...DD's Blizzard. We had a moment of silence for it, then another moment of silence a few blocks later for a squished squirrel they found in the street (aren't you glad I didn't take photo's of that?).

It took us 18 minutes to walk the mile back to the school. Apparently even honors kids have trouble eating and walking at the same time. When we got back, they all immediately started studying for the final they would be taking next hour.







Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Yeah right! Actually, they played guitar hero for the last 45 minutes of class. "Finals?" they asked in a tone that made it clear they didn't appreciate me harshing their field trip day mellow, "We don't need to, like study! We're, like, honors kids. Duh!" And if there was ever any doubt about their honor's status, that doubt was completely terminated by this little set-up they rigged so they could play guitar hero on my LCD projector screen.
The kids had a great time and thanked me over and over again for taking them. They even volunteered to sacrifice next year's official honor's field trip to Twin in favor of a repeat of today's adventure....hummm....I wonder if DQ is hiring....

The Rest of My Restless Weekend

After Greg left on Saturday afternoon I went to our branch game night. Lance was in charge of the games, as evidenced by the wearing of his official game hat. Game Master Lance divided us into groups. Here I am with Brother Hobson (blue shirt), Mike J. (brown shirt), and my cousin/branch president's wife Bonnie.
The desks in the room were arranged into tables. Each table was home to a different game. When Game Master Lance rang a bell, the groups left everything where it was and rotated tables. The next group to come to that table just picked up where the last group left off. There was a seven stake bowling activity after game night, so the Jones boys and the Preston's came to game night dressed in their styling bowling threads so they would be ready to roll.
Mellissa B., Sister Barker, and I did our activities committee duty by getting the brownie buffet ready while Game Master Lance read the results. I skipped out on bowling so I could put the finishing touches on my Sunday school lesson and musical number for sacrament meeting (the lesson went great, the musical number not so much).
Sunday afternoon my friends and I had our monthly "old person pot luck."We met up at Cindy and Chris's parents house and commandeered their BBQ. That's Cindy on the left, then Lacie, and the girl with the grin is the one and only Tricia.
Cindy and Tricia's mom did the actual bbqing. Thanks Sister B!

The attendance at our potlucks varies from one month to the next. We had kind of a middle of the road turn out today. That is Elizabeth taking a bite. Her friend Greg from Pokey is next to her. Sara joined them at the table.
Wes and Josh were too manly to sit at a whimpy table so they sat on the steps and discussed manly things.
Zealanda and I parked ourselves right in the middle of everything and did our best to be part of every conversation going on around us.
Now it's back to school for one more week...then I will be on permanent weekend status for the next two months. That's a good thing because after weekends like this I could really use some rest.

My Baby Brother

My parents passed through my little town on the way to Boise Friday and dropped something off...
my baby brother Greg.

The last time Greg came to visit, we went to the rodeo. Here he is with my friend Danielle. He must have been good luck because the next night Danielle was crowned rodeo queen.

I loved having Greg here, but I know that he comes to visit me for the same reason my other brothers drive anywhere from 2 to 4 hours to see me...

There are not many things that my little town has that my brothers' big town doesn't so I made sure he got to eat at the other two "restaurants" he likes but doesn't have access to back in civilization.
But while eating was the highlight of the trip (I know that is what he and our brother Warren will discuss at length when Greg gets home) we also did some other things.

We went to watch Iron Man (good flick!),
our movie theater had his favorite treat...dippin' dots,
we revisited our childhoods by shopping in the toy department at Kings,
we unloaded some quarters at the lemon aide stand down the street,
he even got to take a private, after-hours tour of my haunted school.
Greg is a great house guest to have because we have the same temperament(translation...we are both lazy) so we sat around and TV (I introduced him to Joel McHale and The Soup) played computer games (he is great at free-cell, and whatever it is he is playing on that little thing, and I am improving at solitaire)

He also fits perfectly on my couch (but not for much longer if my parents keep insisting on feeding him on a daily basis).
It was a little sad to give him back to my folks the next afternoon, especially since I didn't get time to force him to do some big-strong-guy-gardening.

Oh well. Maybe next time.
Thanks for visiting Greg!
p.s. the cows miss you too.

The Rock Ceremony

Our school is having the end of the year awards ceremony this week. That means it is time once again for me to embarrass myself by performing the Rock Ceremony in front of full-sized people.

The Rock Ceremony is one of the many things I learned from my student teaching mentor "Berg". Berg learned it from one of his junior high teachers back in Minnesota, so it has a long and distinguished history. The Rock Award (an actual rock) is given to the student or students who score the highest on any given test. In order to properly perform the Rock Ceremony, you need the following items:

A music source with the ability to play "Pomp and Circumstance", a high test score, a box of rocks, and...


a teacher willing to act like an idiot in front of a large group of thirteen-year-olds.

Once the owner of the high test score has been identified, the teacher must slowly march towards her/him in time with the invigorating strains of "Pomp and circumstance".

When the teacher reaches the Rock recipient, the box of rocks is opened and the teacher recites the offical Rock Ceremony speech...

(Insert student's name here), take this Rock in honor of the excellence achieved on the (insert name of test here) test. Keep this rock always in remembrance of that excellence achieved.

The Rock recipient then chooses their rock and the teacher slams the lid of the rock box closed, causing the other students in the classroom to giggle because they are thinking how funny it would be if the Rock recipient's fingers were still in the box when the lid was slammed (junior high students may look cute and fuzzy but can quickly morph into blood-thirsty little creatures).

The Rock Award Ceremonies that follow the biggest tests of the year (the dreaded, hairy, slobbery, fanged end of course assessment) end with the teacher then singing TO THE TEST SCORE AND NOT TO THE STUDENT "You are So Beautiful to Me" which is immediately followed by the students in the class laughing so hard there is a very real danger they could wet themselves. Needless to say, I will be skipping the singing part at the Awards Ceremony.