A Very Long, Dusty Post

Before I spend a considerable amount of time telling you about today's branch activity (and when I say a "considerable amount of time", what I mean is "you should consider making yourself comfortable, canceling any appointments you may have in the next few hours, and taking a preemptive bathroom break 'cause you are going to be here for a while) I feel that I should preface this post by pointing out that our branch does take some time out from our busy schedule of "fun" to do actual churchy, soul-saving stuff like service. Not that service isn't fun. See how happy Zainab, Yamammi, and Ruth look to be doing service on a Friday night? Of course, part of that happiness could be do to the fact that they were serving with Josh, the 2nd counselor in our branch presidency and current #1 draft pick on the branch Relief Society's "Most Eligible Elders Quorum Members" list.
Today's branch activity just happened to be "fun" oriented, which isn't a bad thing. Most of our best attended activities are fun-centric, like when we load up the four-wheelers and drive on up to Melcher Mine and Mansion House.
Of course, we also learn things when we head up to Melcher. For example, after getting several vehicles high-centered on this same blasted boulder the last few times we ventured up that way, we learned to avoid it while parking.
Here we all are at the bottom of the mountain before off-roading it up to the mansion house.
Because I am not suicidal, I chose to hitch rides on the back of ATVs driven by less spastic drivers than myself, like Princess Smooth-Ride McSpeedster here (a.k.a. Krystal). Several members of the branch presidency have tired on many occasions to get me to drive on my own machine, but considering I am still sporting a three-inch scar I managed to inflict upon my self at a previous branch activity (a trip to the fair...really. The fair. Proof that I can damage myself any where, any time) I chose to keep my status as "a backseat kind of girl" (and yes Dad, I know I set myself up for jokes on that one, consider it an early Christmas present).
On the long, dusty drive up to the house, many people commented on how nice it would be to live so far out away from civilization and all of the annoyances that came along with it.
Twenty minutes after our arrival, however, a telemarketer called, blowing that whole "far away from the annoyances of civilization" theory out of the water.
Hanging up on telemarketers wasn't the only exciting activity going on at the house. There was a delicious lunch and cookie buffet to munch on...
... and Brother Barker found yet another unsuspecting victim and then taught him a lesson in "pool table humility." Here they are down in what has now been christened "the basement of manly tears."
And some of the more studious, anti-social members of the branch hung out in the beautiful living room working on Sunday school and institute lessons.
I really had a ton of school and church stuff to get done this weekend and, for a brief moment, considered not attending today's activity. All thoughts of punking out were squelched, however, when I recalled that Brother and Sister Barker would be attending even though today is their anniversary.
Really.
They are THAT DEDICATED to us.
Here they are setting out on a romantic ride through the cow-pie-covered country side.
Aren't they great examples to have in a singles ward?


Four-wheeling was, of course, the main purpose of the activity. But a dry summer, followed by a dry fall, made conditions a little dusty. See those smudges on our county rodeo queen? That is southern Idaho dust...at least we hope it is all dust. One of the dangers of 4-wheeling in this particular area is the constant threat of cow-pie showers. This is me after riding up to the house. My darkened face was the result of riding behind another 4-wheeler down the dusty trail, not a misguided Sunday school teacher attempt to understand the Book of Mormon by getting into character as a Lamanite.
Speaking of the scriptures, here is faithful Ruth following the counsel found in Alma 34 to "humble yourselves even to the dust."

But our winners in the eat-someone-else's dust competition today were Emily, Lisa, and Krystal who, despite living the scriptural passage"...and after they have been brought down low in the dust..."
...still took comfort in the promise found in the Doctrine and Covenants that "...Their sleeping dust was to be restored unto its perfect frame...that they might receive a fullness of joy..."

But proving once again that real women aren't scared of a little dirt on their faces (or a little manure in their hair, or a lot of bugs in their teeth), Sister Jones and Sister Hobson led an expedition down to the creek.
This time I got a ride with Heather or, as she shall hence forth be known, The Grand Duchess Crusin' O'Quickride.
She was an excellent driver, which allowed me to spend the time I would have spent fearing for my life, taking photos of our beautiful surroundings.
Heather is a writer by trade, but I told her that if she should ever need a change of pace, she would make an excellent chauffeur. I might even hire her myself someday when I am a rich and famous teacher. Of course, I would make her wear this groovy golf ball helmet where ever we went...but her Christmas bonus would totally make it worth it.

She was such a good driver that I even felt comfortable enough to take a self portrait during the ride. Did you all notice the total lack of fear in my eyes? (or the total lack of shape to my hair? or the total lack of Sunday school visual aids in my possession? or the total lack of institute lesson preparations? And most importantly, the total lack of concern on my face about any of those things because I was having such a good time?)

One of my favorite parts of this drive was getting to see some actual green plants. Green becomes a rare color in Southern Idaho during the summer and fall, and while I do adore our golden hills and flaxen desserts, it is nice to know that there is a little bit of chlorophyll left in the state in September.
And now here is an even rarer site than green plants in Idaho in the fall, me riding on a four-wheeler without white knuckles.
The dusty drive to the creek was totally worth it. Here I am with the Grand Duchess enjoying the hidden Idaho oasis. I was very tempted to take advantage of the stream to wash off some of the 18 pounds of dust that had accumulated in my hair, ears, and nose. That idea was squashed, however, by the thought of having to ride back up the same dusty path on the way back with dampened hair and skin. "Mud Monster" just isn't a look I was in the mood to experiment with today.
When we made it back to the house, we found our high councilman and his wife having lunch after a ride of their own. Our branch is really blessed to have great leadership. It is amazing that they are willing to stick with us even though so many of our activities end with being splattered with cow-poop, getting vehicles high-centered on rocks, being unfairly ticketed by sadistic park rangers, or missing out on romantic anniversary celebrations to hang out with us up in the boonies.
Soon it was time to ride the dusty trail back down the mountain to our waiting vehicles. Princess Smooth Ride McSpeedster really lived up to her last name on this one. It was really fun to take the trail at such a high speed, but it was a really rocky road and...
...well, lets just say the metal frame I sat on has left a lasting impression on me and leave it there.
We had a great time up in Melcher today but, as much as we hated to leave, we felt it necessary to follow the counsel of the Prophet Moroni who wrote, "And awake, and arise from the dust, O [Parke Avenue Branch]; yea, and put on they beautiful garments, O daughter of Zion; and strengthen thy stakes..."
Which we did by getting attending the General Relief Society Meeting later that evening.

We sure clean up nice, don't we?