My friendship with Elizabeth goes against all the laws of nature. We went to rival high schools (we are talking VIOLENT rivalry here. The first time I ever had to run from the police was a direct effect of that rivalry, but that is a story for another post). Liz was a Grizzly...
...And I was a tiger. So we spent three years of our lives being conditioned to hate each other.
Then, as if that wasn't enough of a metaphysical wedge between us, we now work at rival districts across the river from each other. Our two districts have very different philosophies about educating children. My district believes, for example, that it helps for the students to actually attend classes on a regular basis while her district subscribes to the idea that having the kids spend a grand total of four hours a week in class is "more than enough learnin' for them childrens."But somehow we are able to overlook our differences and still be friends (except for last weekend when she came to pick me up for dinner then wouldn't let me in the car because I was wearing one of my school t-shirts. So I guess we can't be the model relationship that will eventually bring peace to the Middle East...yet.) In fact, I think so highly of Elizabeth that I am considering writing her in on the ballot when I vote for a new president two months from now. Here's why:
Reason #1 Why I am voting for Elizabeth for president: She goes above and beyond the call of duty. As the commander-in-chief of her district's music program, Liz had her hair put into Medusa dreadlocks for the Halloween concert a full week before the actual performance. She spent seven days being mistaken for a wandering reggae singer/pot dealer so that her student's would have a memorable experience. That is dedication.
Reason #2 Why I am voting for Elizabeth for president: She is unflappable. Seriously, this girl can not be flapped. No-flapped, no-how. If she could keep her car on the road after I snapped a surprise flash in her face at a busy intersection, she can totally remain calm in all sorts of international incidents involving missiles or tainted beef.
Reason #3 Why I am voting for Elizabeth for president: She loves less intelligent creatures like her little bat-eared dog, Chloe, and her poor "students" in that district across the river.
Reason #4 Why I am voting for Elizabeth for president: She is very forgiving. She would never be upset with me for posting a picture of her like this on my blog...
...and she would never try to retaliate against me in a violent way for posting this picture...right, Liz? 
Reason #5 Why I am voting for Elizabeth for president: She is trying to make the world a better place by trying to help my backside take up less space. For all my many, many, many, many, many complaints about Liz forcing me to get up before 5 a.m. to exercise, both me and my backside really do appreciate it.
Reason #6 Why I am voting for Elizabeth for president: She works really, really hard. Liz not only spends 8 hours a day driving from rural school to rural school to teach music and conduct orchestras, she also teaches private lessons that extend her workdays from 7 am to 8 pm. As a result, she spends a lot of her non-teaching time sleeping (including during movies, which warrants a whole post on its own).
She was so tired this weekend that she actually fell asleep during her birthday party at my house this afternoon.
In these perilous times, don't we need a president who works so dang hard that he or she instantly falls asleep the moment she hits a soft surface?
So if any of you are disillusioned with the current crop of presidential hopefuls, feel free to join me in writing in the name "Elizabeth M" on your ballots this election day. Trust me, we could do a lot worse.
Happy birthday, Liz! Congrats on winning that Hawaiian trip. I'll take good care of your dog while you are gone. (Chloe and I will be expecting good souvenirs.One of us would like a a pit bbq-ed pig and the other would like a well-toned Polynesian slap dancer. We'll let you know who wanted what when you get back.)
Reason #4 Why I am voting for Elizabeth for president: She is very forgiving. She would never be upset with me for posting a picture of her like this on my blog...
...and she would never try to retaliate against me in a violent way for posting this picture...right, Liz? 
Reason #5 Why I am voting for Elizabeth for president: She is trying to make the world a better place by trying to help my backside take up less space. For all my many, many, many, many, many complaints about Liz forcing me to get up before 5 a.m. to exercise, both me and my backside really do appreciate it.
Reason #6 Why I am voting for Elizabeth for president: She works really, really hard. Liz not only spends 8 hours a day driving from rural school to rural school to teach music and conduct orchestras, she also teaches private lessons that extend her workdays from 7 am to 8 pm. As a result, she spends a lot of her non-teaching time sleeping (including during movies, which warrants a whole post on its own).
She was so tired this weekend that she actually fell asleep during her birthday party at my house this afternoon.
In these perilous times, don't we need a president who works so dang hard that he or she instantly falls asleep the moment she hits a soft surface?
So if any of you are disillusioned with the current crop of presidential hopefuls, feel free to join me in writing in the name "Elizabeth M" on your ballots this election day. Trust me, we could do a lot worse.
Happy birthday, Liz! Congrats on winning that Hawaiian trip. I'll take good care of your dog while you are gone. (Chloe and I will be expecting good souvenirs.One of us would like a a pit bbq-ed pig and the other would like a well-toned Polynesian slap dancer. We'll let you know who wanted what when you get back.)P.S. Elizabeth started a blog. Check it out here...http://www.fiddlegal-elizabeth.blogspot.com/
4 comments:
Wow; eight hours a day??? That's dedication. She seems really cool. And I want to hug that grizzly bear. Seriously. He looks really cuddly. But I know better. But he could really fool a person.
nice. :) i'm glad you have been able to overcome your ingrained aversion to grizzlies so you can be friends with elizabeth. :) hope dinner went well tonight. sorry i didn't get to talk to you. have a great day and i'll try to catch you tomorrow afternoon in between piano lessons. :)
Hey, after that convention talk I am TOTALLY Voting for Elizabeth!!!
Have a great week!
Elizabeth has my vote! I, too, had to overcome my Grizzly hating tendencies for a few people. :)
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