The next time the district public relations lady asks you to do an interview with the local news folks to highlight cool things going on at your school, just say no.
Suggest that they interview your principal or a kidelts, or even one of the lunch ladies next door.
Gush about the other cool classes, clubs, and activities going on in the building that you are NOT involved in.
But do not, under any circumstances, agree to sit, stand, move, or speak on camera. It is just not worth the stress of worrying about what to say and what to wear and how to stand and what on earth you are supposed to do with your hands.
Seriously, what ARE you supposed to do with your freakin' hands in that situation?
So Mindy, should you ever be asked to go on camera ever again for whatever reason, JUST SAY NO. Don't be flattered. Don't think about how fun it would be for the kidlets. Don't think about the good PR it would be for the district. Just don't.
And if you are tempted, just watch THIS again and remember that your five minutes of fame came along with three days of anxiety.
In celebration of surviving the 2015 Niblet Challenge (Journal Writing), Kristina, Greggie, and I took the Utah niblets for dinner at a buffet restaurant. The little people had never been to a buffet before and it kind of blew their minds.
Milo had a plate of equal portions of popcorn shrimp, mac and cheese, and baked beans ... all covered with keptchup. He followed that up with some ice cream and cotton candy.
Ruby's first helping included chicken legs, shrimp, mashed potatoes and jello with whip cream. Next she took a cotton candy break, then decided to go back for a "healthy plate" made up of pretty much any vegetable she could reach, including Brussels sprouts.
Jonah's first plate was pretty buffet-typical, then followed it up with some ice cream. Pretty normal, right? It was round three of the Jonah vs. the Buffet that really stood out: Strawberry pancakes and popcorn shrimp. On the same plate. At the same time. Bless his heart.
Max loaded up on real food first, then hit the salad bar. Pretty impressive for a newly minted 12 year old. He also made good use of the chocolate fountain for his dessert.
Bentley, ever the wise eldest child, tried a bit of everything on what appeared to be themed plates: American comfort, fresh garden produce, Asian-American fusion, etc. Not one of his food combinations impacted any of the grown-ups gag reflexes. Truly impressive.
I think they enjoyed their first buffet experience. I know I sure enjoyed watching them enjoy their culinary adventure.
At the end of every semester, I have the creative writing survivors write letters of advice to next semester's kidlets. The letters must contain pieces of actual advice and fictional advice. Last week, just before I had the fiction vs. nonfiction discussion with my newest group of kidlets, I gave them each a few letters to peruse. Some of the pieces of advice were so fun, I thought I would share them. Junior high brains work in weird, wonderful ways. Enjoy!
Dear Little Child, You have chosen Creative Writing. Should
you be scared? Yes. First of all, there is a huge mutant badger who lives in
the ceiling. Do not fall asleep. He will eat your feet and you will never be
able to walk again.
I recommend smearing honey and sugar on your feet before you
come to class. The sweet smell keeps Earl at bay.
Miss H doesn’t like 0.9 lead, so never use it when you write
in class. I knew this kid who tried to write a story in 0.9 lead and he still
isn’t out of the hospital.
CAUTION! Miss H’s creative writing class is full of
weirdness!
By the end of the year, Miss H will have educated you on
Doctor Who, Sherlock, Harry Potter, and many other fandoms. She might even talk
about creative writing sometimes. If you want to stay on her good side,
complement her on her fez. She loves her fez.
Don’t ever try to cheat in this class. Miss H’s flying
monkeys are always watching and they will rat you out!
Whenever you come into the classroom you must hokie-pokie around
the room; no more, no less.
Be careful never to mention One Direction because Miss H
gets really sad that Zayne left.
Don’t talk when Miss H is talking or she will sick her
mo-bats on you. Also bring pizza every Friday to keep the real bats happy.
The more you write in creative writing, the better you will
get at it! Just don’t do it during math. Math teachers don’t care if you are
creative or not.
Always remember to put a space between a and lot. If you
write it “alot" Miss H will give you a long boring lecture that takes up
the whole class period. Also, shower after PE because ‘tweens need to
shower…especially the ones sitting by me in creative writing right now!
Don’t be fooled by the Ironman cutout in the back of the
room. He looks like cardboard but he comes to life on occasional Tuesdays in
December and May.
Do NOT give in to peer pressure…unless it is GOOD peer
pressure. Then, honey, grab it like it’s your sweetheart on a fine summer day.
Always write your name on your paper. If you don’t, many bad,
horrible, unthinkable things could happen to you. For example, Miss H’s
werewolf boyfriend will attack you! He resides in the closet in the back of the
room and, trust me, he is scary!
In this class you will be writing a lot of stories and my
advice is to choose the weirdest story ideas possible.
Miss H hates hamsters, so don’t talk about them… EVER! But
she loves Doctor Who, so always complement her on her fez.
Never start singing the State Farm commercial (Discount
Double Check! Discount Double Check!) because she will call the police and tell
them that you are working with terrorists to get a hold of nuclear missiles.
Be sure to put your name on all of your assignments, or they
will end up in Miss H’s Charitable Home for Abandoned Papers and you may never
see them again. Another thing you need to know is that Miss H hates the color
chartreuse. Don’t EVER wear chartreuse, or Miss H will make you do 12,565
pushups in a row.
If you are in class on Miss H’s birthday, be sure to get her
something that is Vin Diesel because she has a major crush on him.
If Vin Diesel ever shows up, tie him up and keep him in the
closet until Miss H gets there.
Try to get good class karma and not bad class karma. If you
have good class karma she will let you go to the bathroom, even when you are
out of hallpasses.
If Miss H asks you to do a sing-off with her, say NO! She
will beat the snot of you (I heard a rumor that she won The Voice a few years
ago).
Don’t provoke the 8th graders; we get mad easily.
If you need to approach one of us, softly sing “Carry One My Wayward Son” while
holding a piece of pie out in front of you. That is the safest way. But make
sure the pie is Chocolate French Silk. If you come at us with pumpkin, things
will get crazy.
This summer has flown by! Luckily, I got to spend quite a bit of it with my favorite little people.
Kenna, Kylie, Bubba, and Kristie visited the last week of my school year. They were in town for their Aunt Bev's wedding but, when they weren't taking care of wedding business, they helped me celebrate the start of my vacation. We popped popcorn...
... and then munched it while watching quality programs like Aqubats.
How cool are my niblets? Seriously. They are awesome.
When July rolled around I got to see this little cutie. Mojo only gets to visit Idaho twice a year, so it was so, SO much fun to see her (and her parents).
All eleven of the niblets came to Grandma's house for the 4th of July weekend.
We engaged in the traditional family events like swimming at Heise...
... and watching the parade in the grandparent's front yard.
Later that month my mom and I went to Utah to babysit Jenny's kids while she and John took an anniversary trip. We taught the kids to make jam...
... and bread animals.
We also got to watch Bubba and Kristie while their parents went on an anniversary escape (Kenna and Kylie were at a super fun reunion at Bear Lake with their other grands).
We took a break from Camp Grandma to watch Grandpa take the school board oath of office for a second term.
Bubba enjoyed watching Netflix in his "nest" before falling asleep.
Earlier this month, the Utah Niblets made their annual trek to Cow Town. Their first stop was, of course, Taco Bandido.
It was Alton's first time to visit my cute little town - and his first time to eat at the restaurant his mama has loved since she was little. He seemed to enjoy it.
Half of the kids stayed with me and their mom in my cute little hobbit hole, while the rest roughed it with their grandparents at the Marriot.
Jenny's kids usually come up during fair week, but had to come up early this year because they start school the same week we start fair. I was worried about coming up with enough fun activities to replace the fair and rodeo, but thanks to some good friends (who own horses, buggies, and boats) there was never a dull moment.
The only downsides - Jenny and Grandpa had to watch the fun from the docks...
... and Milo, while enjoying the rural life, did NOT enjoy the rural smel
Other highlights from the trip included Alton's first movie theater experience (We saw Minions, but Alton did manage to take in a little bit of Mission Impossible as well)...
... eating a lot of junk food...
...and shopping Kings, a real blast-from-the-past for Jenny and I.
I got to visit with the IF niblets a little more last weekend. We got snow cones and spent some time on the rides by the zoo.
I will see those little darlings again this week when they come over for the fair and rodeo. Then, after watching the rodeo with my folks (and maybe Greggie and Kristina) we will make a quick Utah trip to see Maxwell get ordained a deacon.
That trip will bring the summer niblet adventures to an end for another year, but the new kidlet adventures will just be starting...
The time is swiftly approaching when the bobkittens will be returning to the junior high.
But this week we had full grown bobcats living in our school... Madison High School Bobcats who, for the last three years, have traveled to Cow Town for their high school band camp.
Between the huge marching band and the army of parents who came to cook and chaperon, a good chunk of the school looked like a refugee camp. There were cots, air mattresses, and sleeping bags everywhere - including the stage right outside my classroom - but I was very impressed with how neat and orderly they were.
The band marched up and down the streets in our neighborhood, practiced their show on the high school field, and the different sections rehearsed their pieces in hallways and classrooms.
Except for the percussion section, who set up shop in the media center.
That's right, the PERCUSSION section spent the week practicing in the LIBRARY. Our former librarian would be turning in her grave. If she was dead, which she isn't. Just retired. But still...
Drums in the library. The kidlets will be so sorry they missed it!
