A Quick Christmas Vacation Review

** A collection of memories that didn't make it to Instagram **

The Idaho Falls Stake Relief Society Presidency in costume as the "Local Leaders."

The entire cast of the inspirational film, "Nehemiah Builds A Wall".

Kenna and Kylie continue the Haws kid Christmas cookie tradition.

Kristie-Mouse helps too.

Paper crowns from our crackers for Christmas Eve dinner.

Bubba really know how to rock a crown.

Kristie checks out her gifts on Christmas morning in her favorite chair.

Kylie shows off her new horse.

Kenna shows off her balloon-tying talents.

Mindy models the fruits of Kenna's balloon animal kit.

Bubbs was nothing but a blur as he played with his remote control car from Grandpa and Grandma Haws.

Ruby introduces Pa to the best chairs in the world during our post-Christmas shopping trip in Utah.

 Ruby finally got her long-promised trip to Build-A-Bear. She picked a Chubacca!

Mindy got in on the fun and made her own Toothless the Dragon.

Ruby got to play with her Chewy...

... but Mindy didn't get much time with Toothless.

Alton kind of adopted him for the duration of the trip.

Hot-Tubbing at the hotel with Grandma and Grandpa.

Watching the Doctor Who Christmas Special!

Have You Ever Wondered About What 7th Graders Think About Vampires?

Then today is your lucky day! 

During the second week of school, every kidlet in our school district took a literacy pre-assessement which required them to read some stuff and then write about what they read. The results give the teachers a good idea of what we need to spend the next two semesters teaching. The kidlets then get to do the same type of thing again in the spring so we can compare their essays and see how much they learned about reading, thinking, and writing. 

Each grade level team gets to chose their own prompt and sources, so my fellow 7th grade teachers and I decided to pick some things the kids could have some fun with. For the last two years, the 7th grade pre and post tests have been focused on legendary creatures. The kidlets are given two readings (usually an article and a legend) about a  creature, and then they use those readings (and whatever prior knowledge they have about that creature) to help make an argument for or against that creature's existence. 

Here is this year's prompt and some responses that reminded us why we love working with those awesome 'tweens. 

Background: In our culture, everyone has heard of vampires. They have appeared as everything from glittering schoolboys to hideously deformed monsters. What isn't  known is that their existence has been debated by intellectuals for centuries. 

Prompt: Write a persuasive argument for or against the existence of vampires. Use evidence from the articles provided to support your claim. You must address at least one of the opposing viewpoint's claims with your own counterclaim. 

People think that stories of vampires are just legends. But here’s the thing: Legends aren’t just stories. They come from lessons and ring with truth. I honestly don’t know if they are real, but I think they are.

I am against vampires because they are dangerous and could give you a disease.

Most stories about vampires are from the 1800’s when the people were just weird. 

Then the doctors discovered Pool’s body was swollen. With what, you might ask? Well let me just tell you… it was swollen with blood that was dripping out of his mouth! Gross! I feel bad for those doctors.

Honestly, I do not believe vampires are like Edward from the world famous Twilight (she should have picked Jacob, by the way). I also don’t believe they are hideously deformed, either. But I do believe that even though they have a human silhouette, no one will ever know what they look like.

(About a man who claimed to have been attacked by a vampire) Is he crazy? Yes! He is crazy! When I go to the doctor for shots, I might think she is a lion because she is trying to give me a shot. But is she really a lion? No! She is my doctor who is trying to keep me healthy. 

In most movies, vampires mostly just fall in love. Twilight is about vampires who fall head over heels for each other. In real life, vampires are really just people with tuberculosis who cough up blood. 

Vampires were originally created from sinners. 

Some facts about vampires are that they like to take a bite out of your skin so they can suck your blood. Vampires only bite people so they can get more vampires on their side. If someone gets bitten and starts to turn into a vampire, you want to pray for the whole family and hope the rest of the family don’t turn into vampires…I try to sleep so I can see my windows and doors, just in case. 

Doctors in 1727 didn’t come in contact with a lot of corpses. That said, the doctors wouldn’t know how a corpse looks. But the blood in the dead guy’s mouth, now that is creepy. But today we know that is still normal for a corpse. So that corpse was just doing what a corpse does. 

The article “Beware the Night” is convincing, but not convincing enough. When it says that the man started rubbing dirt all over his body, that is just too weird. Why would you want to rub dirt all over yourself  and try to dig up a grave to suck the blood out of someone? I think you should just go to Stokes, buy some tomatoes, and just suck out the juice. 

And our favorite…

Do you really believe in vampires just because the definition is a wandering, blood-sucking woman who exploits and ruins her lover? I mean, just because some women can suck all your money and energy at the mall does not make them a vampire. It makes them a girl or your wife.

Zombie Run: Family Style

2015 Zombie Run from Mindy Haws on Vimeo.

Note To Self

Dearest Darling Future Mindy,

The next time the district public relations lady asks you to do an interview with the local news folks to highlight cool things going on at your school, just say no.

Suggest that they interview your principal or a kidelts, or even  one of the lunch ladies next door.

Gush about the other cool classes, clubs, and activities going on in the building that you are NOT involved in.

But do not, under any circumstances, agree to sit, stand, move, or speak on camera. It is just not worth the stress of worrying about what to say and what to wear and how to stand and what on earth you are supposed to do with your hands.

Seriously, what ARE you supposed to do with your freakin' hands in that situation?

So Mindy, should you ever be asked to go on camera ever again for whatever reason, JUST SAY NO. Don't be flattered. Don't think about how fun it would be for the kidlets. Don't think about the good PR it would be for the district. Just don't.

And if you are tempted, just watch THIS again and remember that your five minutes of fame came along with three days of anxiety.

Love and Handshakes,
Past Mindy

Buffet

In celebration of surviving the 2015 Niblet Challenge (Journal Writing), Kristina, Greggie, and I took the Utah niblets for dinner at a buffet restaurant. The little people had never been to a buffet before and it kind of blew their minds.

Milo had a plate of equal portions of popcorn shrimp, mac and cheese, and baked beans ... all covered with keptchup. He followed that up with some ice cream and cotton candy.

Ruby's first helping included chicken legs, shrimp, mashed potatoes and jello with whip cream. Next she took a cotton candy break, then decided to go back for a "healthy plate" made up of pretty much any vegetable she could reach, including Brussels sprouts.

Jonah's first plate was pretty buffet-typical, then followed it up with some ice cream. Pretty normal, right? It was round three of the Jonah vs. the Buffet that really stood out: Strawberry pancakes and popcorn shrimp. On the same plate. At the same time. Bless his heart.

Max loaded up on real food first, then hit the salad bar. Pretty impressive for a newly minted 12 year old. He also made good use of the chocolate fountain for his dessert.

Bentley, ever the wise eldest child, tried a bit of everything on what appeared to be themed plates: American comfort, fresh garden produce, Asian-American fusion, etc. Not one of his food combinations impacted any of the grown-ups gag reflexes. Truly impressive.

I think they enjoyed their first buffet experience. I know I sure enjoyed watching them enjoy their culinary adventure.

I hope they wrote about it in their journals....

Fiction or NonFiction?

 At the end of every semester, I have the creative writing survivors write letters of advice to next semester's kidlets. The letters must contain pieces of actual advice and fictional advice. Last week, just before I had the fiction vs. nonfiction discussion with my newest group of kidlets, I gave them each a few letters to peruse. Some of the pieces of advice were so fun, I thought I would share them. Junior high brains work in weird, wonderful ways. Enjoy!

Dear Little Child, You have chosen Creative Writing. Should you be scared? Yes. First of all, there is a huge mutant badger who lives in the ceiling. Do not fall asleep. He will eat your feet and you will never be able to walk again. 

I recommend smearing honey and sugar on your feet before you come to class. The sweet smell keeps Earl at bay. 

Miss H doesn’t like 0.9 lead, so never use it when you write in class. I knew this kid who tried to write a story in 0.9 lead and he still isn’t out of the hospital. 

CAUTION! Miss H’s creative writing class is full of weirdness! 

By the end of the year, Miss H will have educated you on Doctor Who, Sherlock, Harry Potter, and many other fandoms. She might even talk about creative writing sometimes. If you want to stay on her good side, complement her on her fez. She loves her fez. 

Don’t ever try to cheat in this class. Miss H’s flying monkeys are always watching and they will rat you out!

Whenever you come into the classroom you must hokie-pokie around the room; no more, no less.

Be careful never to mention One Direction because Miss H gets really sad that Zayne left.

Don’t talk when Miss H is talking or she will sick her mo-bats on you. Also bring pizza every Friday to keep the real bats happy.

The more you write in creative writing, the better you will get at it! Just don’t do it during math. Math teachers don’t care if you are creative or not. 

Always remember to put a space between a and lot. If you write it “alot" Miss H will give you a long boring lecture that takes up the whole class period. Also, shower after PE because ‘tweens need to shower…especially the ones sitting by me in creative writing right now!

Don’t be fooled by the Ironman cutout in the back of the room. He looks like cardboard but he comes to life on occasional Tuesdays in December and May.

Do NOT give in to peer pressure…unless it is GOOD peer pressure. Then, honey, grab it like it’s your sweetheart on a fine summer day.

Always write your name on your paper. If you don’t, many bad, horrible, unthinkable things could happen to you. For example, Miss H’s werewolf boyfriend will attack you! He resides in the closet in the back of the room and, trust me, he is scary!

In this class you will be writing a lot of stories and my advice is to choose the weirdest story ideas possible.

Miss H hates hamsters, so don’t talk about them… EVER! But she loves Doctor Who, so always complement her on her fez.

Never start singing the State Farm commercial (Discount Double Check! Discount Double Check!) because she will call the police and tell them that you are working with terrorists to get a hold of nuclear missiles.

Be sure to put your name on all of your assignments, or they will end up in Miss H’s Charitable Home for Abandoned Papers and you may never see them again. Another thing you need to know is that Miss H hates the color chartreuse. Don’t EVER wear chartreuse, or Miss H will make you do 12,565 pushups in a row.

If you are in class on Miss H’s birthday, be sure to get her something that is Vin Diesel because she has a major crush on him. 

If Vin Diesel ever shows up, tie him up and keep him in the closet until Miss H gets there.

Try to get good class karma and not bad class karma. If you have good class karma she will let you go to the bathroom, even when you are out of hallpasses. 

If Miss H asks you to do a sing-off with her, say NO! She will beat the snot of you (I heard a rumor that she won The Voice a few years ago).

Don’t provoke the 8^th graders; we get mad easily. If you need to approach one of us, softly sing “Carry One My Wayward Son” while holding a piece of pie out in front of you. That is the safest way. But make sure the pie is Chocolate French Silk. If you come at us with pumpkin, things will get crazy.

Happy New (School) Year!

Back to School 2015 from Mindy Haws on Vimeo.