CIS: Junior High

Since last Thursday, I have been finger printed five times.

I have stood barefooted outside my classroom, in the hallways, and in the bus loading zone as my shoes confiscated and photographed.

My classroom searched (with warrants)  eight times, and I have been interrogated more times than I can count.

And all because of Mr. Mellonbuler's untimely, and rather violent demise.

According to Mr. D, one of our fearless science teachers, the late Mr. Mellonbuler was a homeless thief who has been wandering around Cow Town for the past few weeks. Mr. Mellonbuler was last seen alive the morning of the 6th grade orientation. He was found dead out by the annexes the next morning.

 

Not many detectives would take the time to investigate the murder of an fictional, melon-headed vagrant, which is why it is so lucky Mr. Mellonbuler was died on our campus.

 

His death just so happened to coincide with the Science and Tech Lab kidlet's crime scene investigation unit. I'm sure Mr. Mellonbuler would be glad to know that, even though they have important study guides to fill out and practice exams to take, four sections of investigative kidlets were happy to take the time to find his killer.

 

The kidlets had a lot of evidence to sift through. Mr. Mellonbuler was apparently killed by a single small caliber gunshot wound to the back of the head.  The two stages of insects present at the scene helped them determine time of death.  There were bloody footprints, size ten Crocs, leading from the crime scene back into the main school building. While an initial search of the area didn't reveal a weapon, the kidlets eventually found a small caliber weapon, with bloody fingerprints, hidden in an annex window well.

All four classes conducted very professional investigations, and all four investigations led them to my classroom. Hence the finger printing and shoe photographing and room searching and interrogating.

Luckily, my English classes are working on their mythological trials this week, so I had several lawyers willing to represent me at reasonable rates (extra hall passes and a piece of candy or two).

The evidence against me includes...

• A silver car (just like mine) was seen in the school parking around the time the victim was killed.
• A witness heard someone singing School House Rock songs outside the annexes about that same time.
• The victim was found with several stolen items, including some Doctor Who memorabilia.
• My finger prints were a close match to the prints on the weapon.
• The footprints matched the size and tread style of the shoes I have been wearing the past two weeks.
• And my shoes have smelled suspiciously like ketchup for the past few days.

It's a good thing I have some awesome lawyers, eh?