Nine years ago, I returned from the Great Canada Toronto West Mission with a stronger testimony of the gospel, a deeper understanding of my part in the Great Plan of Happiness, a fierce love of the Canadian people, an addiction to Wunderbars and TimBits, a suitcase full of well-worn skirts, and bright and shiny new dislike of French people.
I also came home with a giant accordion file full of spiritual thoughts and stories and other gospel/mission/Canada related papers. I don't remember where most of them came from, but I still find uses for them. The temperature conversion guide that follows is one of those things that I carted around Canada, packed home, then dragged on over to my beloved cow town. It still makes me laugh ... and then shiver a little.
Temperature Conversion Guide
50F (10C) = New Yorkers turn on the heat. Canadians plant gardens.
40F (4C) = Californians shiver uncontrollably. Canadians sunbathe.
35F (2C) = Italian cars won’t start. Canadians drive with the windows down.
32F(0C) = Distilled water freezes. Canadian water gets thicker.
20F (-7C) = Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. Canadians throw on a t-shirt.
15F (-9C) = Californians begin to evacuate the state. Canadians go swimming.
0F (-18C) = New York landlords finally turn up the heat. Canadians have the last cookout before it gets cold.
-10F (-23C) = People in Miami cease to exist. Canadians lick flag poles.
-20F (-29C) = Californians fly away to Mexico. Canadians throw on a light weight jacket.
-40F (-40C) = Hollywood disintegrates. Canadians rent videos.
-60F (-51C) = Mt. St. Helens freezes. Canadian Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
-80F (-62C) = Polar bears evacuate the Arctic. Canadian Boy Scouts postpone winter survival classes until it gets cold enough.
-100F (-73C) = Santa Claus evacuates the North Pole. Canadians pull down their ear flaps.-173F (-114C) = Ethyl alcohol freezes. Canadians get frustrated when they can’t thaw their kegs.
-297F (-183C) = Microbial life survives on dairy products. Canadian cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
-460F (-273C) = ALL ATOMIC MOTION STOPS. Canadians start saying, “Gotta cool one out there today, eh?”
5 comments:
Hahaha! I love that. That's how I feel about Idahoans, really. When we were looking for an apartment in California, it was July. And we saw a bunch of people walking around San Diego with fur-lined jackets. It was the weirdest thing. When we lived there for two years, I wore t-shirts year-round. Also flip-flops. These Californians would wear sweaters and coats and boots in the winter, which was only 65 degrees. It was crazy.
I am grateful that I do NOT live in Canada, and that you survived your winter there. yikes.
Love it! A friend of ours married a little girl from California and we saw them about a month ago and she was wearing a coat already. She was freezing.
this is Bentley
wow! it must be really cold up there .I Know I forgot to capitalize my w on wow.
I'm with Kar-that's how I feel in Idaho. I remember when we'd listen to the radio in the spring, and if they said the high that day was going to be 55 degrees, it was time to whip out the shorts.
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