A Guest Post by a Creative Kidlet

I recently gave my creative writing classes an assignment based on one of my favorite children's books.
This book exposes the "truth" behind the many rules that adults force onto kids.

Needless to say, it is a very informative book.

I read parts of it to the creative writing kidlets, and we brainstormed rules and the official accepted reasoning behind those rules. Then, each kidlet picked a rule, listed the official reason for the rule, and then wrote a paragraph exposing the "truth".

The results were side-splittingly-hilarious. Just as funny as the actual book, I kid you not.

All of the kidlets really are creative geniuses, but there was one assignment that really stood out to me... probably because it was about me. The kidlet, who has chosen "Studmuffin" as his at-school-nick-name, chose to write about one of my classroom rules. The kidlets always question the story behind this particular rule, and I always give them the same answer: I can't tell you because the experience was sooooo traumatic I have to go to therapy for six weeks after discussing it. Since I don't have six weeks worth of sick days, they don't get to hear the story behind the rule. So Mr. Muffin decided to take matters into his own hands and come up with a reason of his own.

So, with his permission, here is his contribution to The Secret Knowledge of Grown-ups.

Grown-Up Rule #21: No Hamsters in Class

(Discovered by Studmuffin)

Official Reason: Ms. H has a fear of hamsters and has to go to therapy every time she sees one.

The Truth: In prehistoric times, hamsters ruled the world and used humans as golf clubs, tennis racquet's, and maids. As time went on, hamsters got lazier and lazier. They stopped going to school. They stopped moving. They even stopped eating, which is why they are so small now.

Adults want to keep hamsters out of class so that they will never regain their supernatural intelligence. Miss H is old enough to remember the dark hamster ages, so she is even more deathly afraid of the hamsters than other grown-ups are. That is why Miss H is so strict on this rule.

Thanks for letting me post this, Mr. Muffin. Your willingness to share should make up for the points you might lose for that age crack of yours. ;-D