Feats of Extraordinary Bravery, or The Branch Camp Out

Our second annual branch camp out happened this week. Now, I realize that there might be a few people out there who would question the wisdom of taking a SINGLES branch on an over-nighter but trust me, there was nothing to worry about. In fact, back on our first camp out, our official chaperons actually disappeared into their tent around 8 p.m., while everyone else stayed up talking by firelight and/or skeet shooting by moonlight. Believe it or not, no one gave into their baser instincts despite the romantic glow given off by the discharged shotgun rounds.


But enough about last year…This year’s camp out was held deep in the wilderness, far from the comforts and safety of civilization. We ventured into such a dangerous and remote location that Brothers Barker and Hobson actually had to bring several firearms and a lot of ammunition to ensure our safety as we set up camp in the midst of …well manicured lawns, charming saplings, and clean restrooms with flush toilets.

Ok, so we weren’t exactly roughing it, but we did have a lot of guns and ammo, including two potato guns and a bag of high caliber russets. And there was danger involved…this tether ball could have totally turned on Liza and Tom and seriously chipped one of their teeth.
Thankfully, we had several of our fearless branch leaders there to protect us...and to set good examples for us like the Hobsons are doing here. Aren't they sweet? Elder Oaks should borrow this photo to use as a background the next time he gives a talk on the blessings of marriage.
I know it may be hard to believe, but tether ball wasn't the most dangerous activity available to us as we "camped". Jess and Allison's first order of business upon arrival was warming up the zip line.

It may not look very scary from this angle, but trust me...
It was a LONG WAY DOWN.
Despite the bevy of potentially lethal activities available to us, Lacie, Timbri, and Krystal didn't express a lot of interest in risking life and limb. I, on the other hand, astounded everyone with my daring and courageous exploits on...
...the in-ground trampoline. Hey, don't scoff. Notice I am not wearing a helmet or parachute (although I did have a trained nurse standing by).
Eventually I did let my sense of self-preservation lapse long enough to try the water slide a few times. Don't I look brave standing at the top of the hill?
I started looking a lot less brave when the time came to actually sit on the tube, but Jess and Allison were there to ease my troubled mind. You know, that is one of the sure signs of a true friend: someone who is willing to talk you into doing something that could cause great bodily harm. Gosh I'm lucky to have buddies like them around.
Oh, and I'm lucky to have pals like Wes who are so willing to smile gleefully as they push me towards a painful death.
Oh, and as long as I am counting loyal comrades, I can't forget Zealanda, who not only agreed to take these photos for me but also offered to be my permanent substitute at school should I perish in the attempt. Sweet, eh? I feel so very, very loved.

As you have probably guess from the non-paradisaical tone of this post, I didn't die while tubing. But I did have to walk around for the rest of the night with a wet backside, which was almost as bad.

I may not have perished on the slide, but I did almost succumb to a terminal case of "awe-!-!-!-isn't-that-sweet-ed-ness" when I saw Brother Barker help his lovely eternal companion and their beautiful granddaughter take a turn on the slide. Most people, after seeing a wuss like me and a small child like that go down the water slide, would think, "Hey! I can do that!" and then jump up to grab a tube and get in line, but...
...Krystal, Timbri, and Lacie aren't most people. We could tell it was going to take a lot more than a big baby (me) and a grandbaby (Mini Sister Barker) surviving the slide to get them to get their backsides wet.
Jess and Allison manged to get a recently wounded Kendra to try the tubes...
...and Sister Jones even made it down and back without even getting slightly damp.
But the three Amiga's remained unmoved.

Krystal did eventually follow President Jones' example (as seen here) and give the zip line a try.
But it wasn't until Brother Hobson talked Lacie into shooting the potato gun that their silly "We'd rather not be seriously injured during this activity" attitude began to abate.
I'm not sure what really motivated them to climb on the tubes. It could have been the surge of adrenaline that comes after having a hunk of potato shot past your head at 75 mph, or it could have been the intoxicating effect of the left over engine starter fumes that escaped from the potato gun's ignition chamber...
...but whatever the reason, Krystal, Timbri, and Lacie did climb on tubes and ride the slide. And in so doing, performed an important service:
Ensuring I wasn't the only person on the camp out with a wet butt.

Thank you, and goodnight.