Fair Week!!!

In case you hadn't heard, the most important event of the summer is taking place right now.

Life long dreams are being realized, new records are being set, and the attention of the entire planet is focused on one corner of the world. That's right...It is fair week!

Oh, and the Olympics are happening too, I guess. Like anyone cares about that.

The county fair is a really big deal here in my little valley. Things just kind of shut down for five days so the populace can focus on 4-H projects, rodeos, and maple bars. Here is my friend Danielle performing one of her many rodeo queen duties...leading the Fair and Rodeo Parade.

The parade was a very impressive collection of floats, classic cars (and tractors), horses, and skill demonstrations. Here is Taekwondo Master/Branch Presidency Counselor Josh (he is the one in black in the middle) showing off his deadly moves. I think our branch home teaching stats would really shoot up if he demonstrated breaking boards with his hands during Elders Quorum.
Back at the fair grounds, people crammed into the stadium seats to watch the team sorting event. The rodeo starts tomorrow which means one thing...Laundry time! I have been saving up laundry for weeks in anticipation of sharing the laundromat with the rodeo boys. I've said it before and I'll say it again...there is something about the sight of a wandering cowboy sorting out his whites from his colors that makes me very, very happy. Viva La Wranglers!
I was much more excited about the fair this year than I was in years past because, since being paroled, I mean released from the relief society presidency, I didn't have to help set up the stake handicraft booth, or beg/threaten people to fill our branch assignment as handicraft building security personnel.
My favorite part of the fair is looking at all the 4-H projects, including the winning sugar beet entries.

After my beet hoeing post wherein I described mature sugar beets by saying..."if a turnip and a pineapple had an albino love-child, it would look a lot like a sugar beet," my sister insisted I post actual photos so... here is the grand prize winner....
After gazing at this year's crop for a few minutes, I decided that a better description might be...sugar beets look like those creepy mandrake root thingys from Harry Potter...
Remember them....
Awfully similar, right?
Of course, a county fair wouldn't be a county fair without food...lots and lots of delicious food. It was our branch's turn to work our stake's burger stand tonight. Here are the cute Hobsons, before starting their shift, sharing dessert...pie ala mode with two spoons! If the menu would have offered milkshakes, they totally would have done the two straw thing. They are that cute. Really.

And speaking of cute, here is Marilyn showing off her apron and her waitressing skills. Her perkiness and ability to do basic math in her head earned her a spot up front. Believe me, you have no idea what "service with a smile" really means until you have ordered a fair special with fries from Marilyn. Brothers Barker and McMurry were our burger cooks. I really think they should get celestial kingdom fast passes for the hours they spent over that hot grill.
Zealanda and I worked behind the scenes...she cut produce and dressed burgers and I was the fry girl.
Notice I said "fry girl" and not "fry woman." That is because Lacie was the truly mature hot oil diva. She worked those baskets like concert pianist works a Steinway. It was an extremely inspirational sight.


It is a little know fact that, before my distinguished careers as a teacher, reporter, and cemetery lawn care technician, my dream was to work in the fast food industry. After three hours in an apron it became painfully apparent, however, that getting a college education was the wiser choice. It became painfully apparent when I burned my arm on the blasted fry thingy.

"Owwwww!!!! My arm! My poor arm! The pain! The horrible, horrible pain! How will I ever..."
"...Hey is that cash?!? Cool." Being a public school teacher, I am easily distracted...especially by things I don't see very often, like gorillas trained in classical ballet and wads of cash in my immediate vicinity.
Luckily, my injury happened at the end of my shift, so I was soon free to tend to my wound by sampling a wide variety of fair food.
Turns out, the burn itself wasn't all that bad. A little Neosporin and I was good to go. Unfortunately, I had put so much ice on it that I came down with a nasty case of frostbite and had to have my arm amputated anyway...just kidding Sister Barker!

Not that I really need two arms anyway. I can eat cotton candy just fine with one, so really...what else matters?

Feats of Extraordinary Bravery, or The Branch Camp Out

Our second annual branch camp out happened this week. Now, I realize that there might be a few people out there who would question the wisdom of taking a SINGLES branch on an over-nighter but trust me, there was nothing to worry about. In fact, back on our first camp out, our official chaperons actually disappeared into their tent around 8 p.m., while everyone else stayed up talking by firelight and/or skeet shooting by moonlight. Believe it or not, no one gave into their baser instincts despite the romantic glow given off by the discharged shotgun rounds.


But enough about last year…This year’s camp out was held deep in the wilderness, far from the comforts and safety of civilization. We ventured into such a dangerous and remote location that Brothers Barker and Hobson actually had to bring several firearms and a lot of ammunition to ensure our safety as we set up camp in the midst of …well manicured lawns, charming saplings, and clean restrooms with flush toilets.

Ok, so we weren’t exactly roughing it, but we did have a lot of guns and ammo, including two potato guns and a bag of high caliber russets. And there was danger involved…this tether ball could have totally turned on Liza and Tom and seriously chipped one of their teeth.
Thankfully, we had several of our fearless branch leaders there to protect us...and to set good examples for us like the Hobsons are doing here. Aren't they sweet? Elder Oaks should borrow this photo to use as a background the next time he gives a talk on the blessings of marriage.
I know it may be hard to believe, but tether ball wasn't the most dangerous activity available to us as we "camped". Jess and Allison's first order of business upon arrival was warming up the zip line.

It may not look very scary from this angle, but trust me...
It was a LONG WAY DOWN.
Despite the bevy of potentially lethal activities available to us, Lacie, Timbri, and Krystal didn't express a lot of interest in risking life and limb. I, on the other hand, astounded everyone with my daring and courageous exploits on...
...the in-ground trampoline. Hey, don't scoff. Notice I am not wearing a helmet or parachute (although I did have a trained nurse standing by).
Eventually I did let my sense of self-preservation lapse long enough to try the water slide a few times. Don't I look brave standing at the top of the hill?
I started looking a lot less brave when the time came to actually sit on the tube, but Jess and Allison were there to ease my troubled mind. You know, that is one of the sure signs of a true friend: someone who is willing to talk you into doing something that could cause great bodily harm. Gosh I'm lucky to have buddies like them around.
Oh, and I'm lucky to have pals like Wes who are so willing to smile gleefully as they push me towards a painful death.
Oh, and as long as I am counting loyal comrades, I can't forget Zealanda, who not only agreed to take these photos for me but also offered to be my permanent substitute at school should I perish in the attempt. Sweet, eh? I feel so very, very loved.

As you have probably guess from the non-paradisaical tone of this post, I didn't die while tubing. But I did have to walk around for the rest of the night with a wet backside, which was almost as bad.

I may not have perished on the slide, but I did almost succumb to a terminal case of "awe-!-!-!-isn't-that-sweet-ed-ness" when I saw Brother Barker help his lovely eternal companion and their beautiful granddaughter take a turn on the slide. Most people, after seeing a wuss like me and a small child like that go down the water slide, would think, "Hey! I can do that!" and then jump up to grab a tube and get in line, but...
...Krystal, Timbri, and Lacie aren't most people. We could tell it was going to take a lot more than a big baby (me) and a grandbaby (Mini Sister Barker) surviving the slide to get them to get their backsides wet.
Jess and Allison manged to get a recently wounded Kendra to try the tubes...
...and Sister Jones even made it down and back without even getting slightly damp.
But the three Amiga's remained unmoved.

Krystal did eventually follow President Jones' example (as seen here) and give the zip line a try.
But it wasn't until Brother Hobson talked Lacie into shooting the potato gun that their silly "We'd rather not be seriously injured during this activity" attitude began to abate.
I'm not sure what really motivated them to climb on the tubes. It could have been the surge of adrenaline that comes after having a hunk of potato shot past your head at 75 mph, or it could have been the intoxicating effect of the left over engine starter fumes that escaped from the potato gun's ignition chamber...
...but whatever the reason, Krystal, Timbri, and Lacie did climb on tubes and ride the slide. And in so doing, performed an important service:
Ensuring I wasn't the only person on the camp out with a wet butt.

Thank you, and goodnight.

Thoughts on Bladders, Boas, (year)Books, and Bright Sides

Two weeks from today I will be back in school, surrounded by nervous seventh graders and excited eighth graders, wondering when on earth I am going to have time to go to the bathroom. I can feel my bladder tingling in anticipation already.

Registration starts tomorrow, so I have spent the last two days making my classroom beautiful. I already have a post about that brewing, but here is a little sneak peak of the design-on-a-dime-on-crack-ed-ness that is my classroom.

Last summer the custodians found this great old podium for me and I spent the rest of the year "dressing it up" to fit various seasonal themes. The kids seemed to enjoy it, so I decided to continue the tradition this year. This is how the podium looked yesterday morning... ...and this is how it looks now. I decided to go with a back-to-school theme: Feather boas in our school colors and bobcat prints that match the boarder on my bulletin board.
With the start of school so close, I would hate for all of you to think that I have spent all of my time decorating when I could have been lesson planning, running copies, and doing other productive teacher related activities. Let me just state now for the record that I haven't just been decorating. Of course, I haven't been doing any of those productive things either. I have also been stressing out.

On the last day of this past school year, I was recruited to be this year's yearbook advisor. I was pretty excited because I have yearbook experience (Editor of THE SPUD my senior year[insert your own corny Idaho joke here]) and 10 out of the 12 kids who had been selected as staffers were all from my amazing honors class. Times have changed since my yearbook days...now everything is done online. Point and shoot, click and save. Pretty simple, right? Here are the last two yearbooks...
The yearbooks have been so amazing the past two years that I just couldn't resist buying one... especially since I so HIGHLY approve of the student's choice for favorite teachers those years.
(Note to self: It would probably be a good idea to cut back on feather boa purchases and start saving to buy a scanner!!!)
Pretty cool, right? So you can imagine how good I felt when I went in to meet with the old advisor to pick up some of the yearbook stuff. This is me thinking, "What a lovely little binder. Being yearbook advisor is going to be such a fun, low-stress, positive experience!"

And this is me thinking, "Oh, there's more? Well, that's cool. I can handle this. After all, I spent all of high school and most of college working under the pressure of publication deadlines. No biggie."
And this is me thinking, "Ok, so maybe this is going to be a little more stress than I anticipated. Oh, what's that? I get to work with the yearbook staff during my A-day prep hour so I only get to have actual preparation time once every two days? Hummm...Well at least I will have 12 honors kids as staffers to do most of the grunt work...."
And this is me thinking..."Ahhhhh!!!!! What do you mean registration starts tomorrow and there are only two kids who actually have yearbook as part of their schedule?!?!? "

I guess a tingly bladder is going to be the least of my problems. Does that count as looking on the bright side?

Forget Team Edward and Team Jacob...I'm on Team Seth!

Well, I am officially sleep deprived once again, but this time I have no one to blame but myself...and Elizabeth. As non-rabid fans of the Twilight books, Elizabeth and I decided it would be fun to do the midnight release thing and then have a sleep over at her house so we could read the book together. Before I continue with the play-by-play of our night, I think I should clarify our fan status. While I can honestly and proudly classify myself as a Harry Potter Freak, Elizabeth and I don't consider ourselves hard-core Twilighters. Sure, we bought and read the book the night/morning it came out, but at no point did we squeal at frequencies only dogs can hear or wear costumes or any other Twilight-related apparel. We simply enjoy the story line and thought that doing the release date thing would be a fun activity. Hence our non-rabid fan status.
Here we are in the car at 11:40 p.m., ready to set out on our adventure. The line to buy the book went almost halfway across our medium-sized Wal-Mart and included several of my kidlets from school and one or two fellow teachers.
Most of the people in that line could be classified as hardcore fans, so it was fun to visit with them while we waited. Other categories of fans were also represented. There were folks who share the same casual reader status as my mother: people who enjoy the story but weren't really in any hurry to read the new book. There were also a few self-loathers, like my sister Jenny. She is the type of Twilighter who feels like the books are below her, but still has an irrepressible desire to read them, causing her to feel immense guilt at the resulting compulsion to neglect her children in order to get the next installment read.

Chloe, it turns out, isn't much of a Twilight fan. She seemed extremely annoyed that we were keeping her from her usual nighttime routine.
We drove back to Elizabeth's house, put on our PJ's, surrounded ourselves with munchies, and dug into the book. Poor Elizabeth always ends up on my blog sans makeup, but she is a great sport about it.

We started reading around 12:30 a.m. I actually felt pretty awake for most of the night, only taking a dozing break from 3:45 to 5:45 a.m.

Liz, on the other hand, displayed a higher level of intelligence by sleeping from 2 to 6 instead of reading herself into the ground. Or maybe she needed the sleep since she is so much OLDER than I am....Love ya, Liz!













Being the wuss that I am, the bloodier chapters left me feeling a little light headed so I spent some time trying to get some much-needed blood flow back to my head. I don't know if the feet-in-the-air thing did much good, but having Chloe trying to lick my face off did distract me from my grossed-out-ed-ness.














I officially finished just after 10 a.m. and somehow managed to drag myself and my pillow to the car and then back home.














My final thoughts on Breaking Dawn.... It was a fun read, but not at all what I expected. I approve of the major twists, and of the ending, but I don't think I will be rereading this book as much as the others in the series.
Sorry Edward, you're a delightful distraction, but I'm afraid Harry Potter is the series I am hopelessly imprinted on (J.K. 's Tales of Beedle the Bard comes out Dec. 4th!!!

My Last Siberian Post

My Siberians have spent the last week in Rexburg for the second leg of their rural Idaho tour, so I took my parents and youngest brother up a few times over the past few days to introduce my American family to my Russian family.
Here's Greg and I with some of the girls...





...And here we are with Professor Victor and more the girls.


See that guy in the white pants and black beret? That is one of the most obnoxious french people I have ever met. I was planning on repressing all of my memories in which he had leading or supporting roles, but last night I decided to change that plan and snap a photo of him. It will make it a lot easier to find and punish him later when I achieve my goal of becoming supreme ruler of the free world.
When we saw the team last night, they gave me a CD of about 150 photos Vladimir had taken last week. Good old Vladimir started taking pictures the second he climbed off the bus. Here we all are in the school lobby after the team arrived at 12 a.m. Tuesday morning.

Here I am with Marquetta, Professor Victor, and the Rotary Club lady discussing the program for the team's first performance.
Here we are in the boat during the party last Friday. I got my worst sunburn of the summer that day...but it was no wear near as awful as the burn poor professor Victor got.
This photo was taken at the luncheon where all of the teams swapped gifts with different area mayors. Here are the mayors with the costumed dancers and musicians. Here I am with the representatives from Team Siberia, the mayor of Rupert (blue shirt), another Rupert representative (yellow shirt), and some members of the other Russian group at the festival...the Cossacks.
Now that my sunburn has numbed and I have been able to sleep for more than four hours a night, I can officially say that being a team guide was a good experience. I learn a lot about Russia and other countries, about sound checks and rehearsal schedules, about repairing very old Siberian folk instruments, and about running photo exhibitions. I also learned what my limits for stress and sleep deprivation are, information that will come in very handy in the future.