An Open Letter to my Older Sister

Dear Jenny,

Thanks for letting me come hang-out last week.

I had a blast introducing The Baby to Sonic slushies. And, as a bonus for you, It now knows how to drink from a straw. See how helpful I can be? Amazing, eh?
Did I tell you how much I love that the four big kids sit in the same chair while they watch cartoons on the computer? So stinkin' cute!

And how cute was The Baby at the ballgames Saturday morning? Now that It can walk, that little guy can really move!I'm glad Mikey took a break from texting love notes to his sweetie to come help out.

Oh. I was wondering if you could answer a question for me. I took this photo while the boys were playing "fireman" on Wednesday and was wondering about their fireman "uniform". What kind of fireman photos do you have around the house that would lead them to believe that firemen don't wear shirts? Do you have one of those "Hot Fireman of the Southwest" calendars? If so, I am greatly offended that it isn't hanging up in the guest room. You should set a better example of sharing for your kids.

And speaking of sharing, how great were the kids sharing that giant gummy snake that Ruby and I found? She and I had a great time shopping at the candy store.

Plus, our little shopping trip gave me a opportunity to follow up on that conversation I had with Ruby during my last visit. I was a little worried when she told me, "When Mommy and Daddy are dead, we won't have to go to Church anymore. Or brush our teeth." I mean, comments like that aren't your usual Sunday morning breakfast conversation fodder for three-year-olds.

But I am happy to report that Ruby's comments were random and in no way evidence that your children are planning to off you in the near future. Probably.

But, if I were you, I would keep a close eye on Jonah. If there was to be a coup, he would be the leader. A four-year-old who can quote "The Art of War" can't be trusted.

And while we are on the subject of Jonah, I would like to defend my practice of taking the kids to the dollar store during my visits. In the past, when Jonah has come home looking like a dork wearing his weird, random purchases, you have blamed his disturbing behavior on me.

But as this piece of evidence shows, it is not just Jonah who buys strange things at the dollar store and then wears them around for days on end. All your kids do it, which leads me to believe that the problem is genetic.

Or perhaps the result of some toxic chemical that you were exposed to while pregnant. You should probably look into that before considering adding a Baby #6 to the mix.
Oh, and the children's hair on Friday wasn't my fault either. You are the one who gave Bentley his delightful Mohawk, and the green hair dye was in your bathroom cupboard.
In fact, I'm pretty sure they are the ones who talked me into putting green stripes in my hair. Yeah. That's it. It was the kid's idea. And if you give me a few moments, I could probably come up with a way to blame the "roasting of the marshmallows with a flambe torch" on their bad influence as well. Of course, I did buy both of the weapons being used in the photo below, so I will take responsibility for that. Sorry. But as much fun as it was painting your children's heads green and buying them combination high-powered squirt gun/sibling bludgeoning sticks, the highlight of the week was painting your front door orange...

...twice.

I still don't know why you insisted on painting it the darker shade the very next day. I thought the bright orange door was very cheerful and inviting... and appetizing. And the hunter-safety orange would have been very helpful if any wandering near-sighted hunters ever ended up wandering through your neighborhood and were tempted to mistake your old door for a deer or a pheasant, or something.

But I do like the way the door ended up. I agree that it will give the exterior of your house a little panache.

I hope this week is quick and painless for you. I will miss hanging out with your offspring. They really are a good time. I am going to spend the week getting ready for our wonderful stake Relief Society meeting. And eating a lot of dreamsicles. I've been in the mood for them ever since I got home. I wonder why...

Anyway... Thanks again for a fun week. You and John run a great little vacation spot.

Loves!

-Me