A Clarification

A drama teacher forces her students to put on silly costumes and do embarrassing things for the entertainment, and (in the case of our Bobcat News Network) enlightenment of their peers. Sure, the kidlets moan and groan and suffer varying levels of humiliation, but at the end of the quarter they are filled with a sense of accomplishment and the jr. high joy of knowing they were the center of attention of the jr. high universe for a whole 45 minutes.

A dramatic teacher, on the other hand, forces herself to put on silly costumes and do embarrassing things while pretending to be literary characters at student-conducted press conferences, all in the name of educating her students.

Sure, the teacher moans and groans about having "wig-head" for two consecutive school days. And yes, it is humiliating for the teacher and causes the students to be so embarrassed for their teacher that they can't look her in the eye for the rest of the week without suffering giggle-induced-pants-piddling-episodes. A dramatic teacher may need intensive shock therapy to overcome the emotional scars left by these experiences. But chances are pretty darn good that 75% of those kidlets will never, ever forget the classic narrative poem, "The Highwayman."

And, if whatever health care plan our government passes in the next decade includes intensive shock therapy coverage for public school employees, it might even be worth the epic humiliation someday.

Maybe. And now, on a drama teacher note, my kidlets are preparing to perform three short Sherlock Holmes comedies. The scripts are full of silly, cheesy jokes, 97.264% of which fly right over the heads of the 7th and 8th graders involved... as evidenced by the following rehearsal moments presented below.

1st rehearsal, early February.

Kidlet playing HOLMES: Yes, Watson. The rich, the beautiful, delightful and lovely Lady Ruth Fairfax, and Watson, you can only admire her beauty, Magnificent! Why, she's got something that will knock you out!

Kidlet playing WATSON: What's that?

Kidlet Playing HOLMES: A husband.

5th rehearsal, mid-February.

Kidlet playing HOLMES: Yes, Watson. The rich, the beautiful, delightful and lovely Lady Ruth Fairfax, and Watson, you can only admire her beauty, Magnificent! Why, she's got something that will knock you out!

Kidlet playing WATSON: What's that?

Kidlet Playing HOLMES: A husband.

7th rehearsal, late February.

Kidlet playing HOLMES: Yes, Watson. The rich, the beautiful, delightful and lovely Lady Ruth Fairfax, and Watson, you can only admire her beauty, Magnificent! Why, she's got something that will knock you out!

Kidlet playing WATSON: What's that?

Kidlet Playing HOLMES: A husband.

11th rehearsal, yesterday.

Kidlet playing HOLMES: Yes, Watson. The rich, the beautiful, delightful and lovely Lady Ruth Fairfax, and Watson, you can only admire her beauty, Magnificent! Why, she's got something that will knock you out!

Kidlet playing WATSON: What's that?

Kidlet playing HOLMES: A husband. (pause) Hey! I get it! A husband! Dude! That's funny!

Kidlet playing WATSON: Huh?

Miss H playing the LONG-SUFFERING DRAMA TEACHER: Ok. Enough rehearsal. Who wants to play dodge ball?

Tomorrow, I think we will do a worksheet.