There Is Something Wrong With Me

Seriously.

I have a problem.

Normal people do not act this way.

Picture it...Sicily, 1920...Oh, wait. This is my blog, not an episode of "Golden Girls". And no, quoting random sitcoms from the 80's is not my problem.

THIS is MY PROBLEM:

Picture this...My classroom on Monday morning.

I walk through the door; a stress case of epic proportions thanks to the amount of grading that I had to get finished before the report cards were printed at noon that day.

Already exhausted despite the fact it was only 7:30 a.m. and the day hadn't even really started yet, I knew that I was only one seating-chart-complaint away from an emotional come-a-part ,the likes of which hasn't been seen since the great lesson plan melt down of '06.

I cross the room to set my HUGE stack of papers on my desk and I see it...a pond in the corner of my classroom. A pipe had broken in the kitchen next door over the weekend and the water had began to infiltrate my previously dry classroom. It was not a happy sight.
So, as a stressed-out, emotionally unstable person who barely has time to sleep, eat, and blog (life's basic essentials) there was really only one way I could react.

Only one thing I could do.

I grabbed an abandoned visual aid and did a photo shoot.

Sure, I had essays to read and scores to enter into the computer.

I had sample introductions to write and copies to run and two days worth of announcements to film for our Bobcat News Network broadcast.

But instead of doing all of those thing, I took photos of teddy fishing in "Lake Bad Karma".

And that's not even the worst of it.

The worst of it is that after I took the photos of Teddy, I thought to myself, "Well, Miss H, it's really not much of a lake. It's more like a swamp."

So then I grabbed my burping hall pass and...well...you can see for yourself how bad things got.

I made signs. signS. Plural. And afterwords my only regret was that I hadn't thought to attribute the mess to the Weasley Twins .

Later that day, the midterm deadline passed and I thought my stress-induced madness had too.

But I was wrong.

The madness was still there, lurking, waiting for yet another opportunity to rear its ugly head.

And boy did it's head ever rear today.

Picture it...the upstairs computer lab: an A-day.

A-days are the days I don't have any prep time, so I am usually running on fumes anyway by the time the final bell rings. And A-days this week are even worse because I have lunch duty. That means that the only previously-kid-free 30 minutes of my entire day was spent trying to convince 7th grade boys that trying to shove a hacky-sac into each other's various physical orifices does not impress 7th grade girls.

So by the time the last hour of the day rolled around and my yearbook staffers showed up, there really wasn't much chance of any of us leaving that computer lab without "something" happening.

And something did happen.

Instead of working on the yearbook pages whose deadlines are rapidly approaching, I put the kidlets in a chicken suit.

Then I filmed them for a new BNN segment that my diseased mind created...Fowl Humor: Thanksgiving Turkey jokes told by The Chicken.

The kids must not have been too traumatized by the whole experience because they kept taking turns suiting up and walking through the halls to cause a poultry-produced-pandemonium.

Of course, I am not going to rule out the need for group counseling until after their joke segments air on the school TV in full view of all of their peers.

I think if I can go to bed and sleep until this isn't funny anymore, I might make it through till Thanksgiving break.