Literary Love Connections

I stayed after school on the last day of the semester to work on my first new bulletin board of the new semester. I wanted something that would be as beneficial to my year-long English kidlets as well as to my new crop of creative writers.(I also wanted something I could put together quickly since it was 5 o'clock on a Friday.) It was a rush job, but I'm pleased with how it turned out.

The quote Jenny sent me sent me the next morning comparing books to the T.A.R.D.I.S. was a very nice addition. Older sisters can really come in handy sometimes...

Moms also frequently come in handy.

For example, my mom recently passed along the idea for an "extreme booking" activity  her school librarian put together that very closely resembled speed dating. Having junior high kids "speed date" books? How could I resist?

So I took the idea to my school librarian, Dave.

You remember Dave, don't you?

He is the one who made it possible for Sherlock to wish me a happy birthday last year...

 ...and more recently turned me into an adjective.

So I told Dave that I wanted to give the kidlets a chance to step our if their literary comfort zones (Fantasy and dystopian novels are their current favorites). I spent a good five minutes making what I thought was a pretty compelling case, but it turns out all of the edu-speak was unnecessary: I had him at "I want the 7th graders to go speed dating with books."

He spent weeks looking for awesome books that weren't seeing the action they deserved, organized them into genres, assigned two genres to each library table, and assigned two books to each library seat.

After a conversation about not judging a book by its cover, the kids got to spend 90 seconds getting to know books that they might otherwise have ignored completely.

The afternoon resulted in some fun new literary love connections and some expanded "to read" lists, just as I had hoped.

But there was an unanticipated result too... while the kidlets were busy flirting with new genres, Dave and I compiled book-related pickup lines. Not all of them were fit to print in a family-friendly blog, but I thought it would be fun to end the post with a few that could be rated PG or lower. Enjoy!

We could make such a beautiful library together.

Do you know how I can contact Sherlock Holmes? Because I need to solve the mystery of how to win your heart.

You’re so hunky, you must be hiding a rapidly aging portrait somewhere in your attic.

Forget the dictionary, you're the one who gives my life meaning.

If you were a dementor, I would become a criminal just to get your kiss.

You must be the master of the EXPELLIARMUS spell, because your smile is disarming!

Yowza! You are hotter than Fahrenheit 451!

If you were a library book you would be overdue, because baby you are FINE!

Adventure was my favorite genre, but ever since I met you, I can't get romance off my mind.

Do you know what meeting you and my library book have in common? They're both seriously overdue.

You must be a library book, because I just can't stop checking you out.

Hitting the Books

As some of you may recall, my summer began quite auspiciously (word of the day!) with a landslide victory in the Friends of the Library Board Member election (an accomplishment that is even more impressive when you consider that, at the time, I was not a member of the Friends of the Library and was not aware that I was running for office). That exciting and rather unexpected honor came with the responsibility of helping with the Library's summer book sale.
My book sale responsibilities included announcing the sale on Facebook, recruiting help from my charitable friends to sort through the library's old and/or unneeded books, and organizing the many books that had been donated to the library. The newer, more popular, and better quality books were sold inside (hardcovers 3 for $1, paperbacks 8 for $1) and the older, more beat-up books were sold outside ($1 for as many books as you can fit into a bag/box) . I am happy to report that, despite our daily evening thunderstorms, the book sale was a huge success.

In the course of hauling, sorting, boxing, rehauling, unboxing, resorting, stacking, and selling a few thousand books, we came across quite a few interesting items. So, in an attempt to drum up business for additional sales, I am going to share just a few of those interesting items with you.

Now, before we start perusing these impressive publications, I would like to state for the record that we sold a lot of really good books. Really nice, really popular, really current, really well-known books over the course of the sale. Really. We did.

But we also sold things like this rockin' aerobic record from the early 80's. People also donated old videos (a whole collection of Little House on the Prairie on VHS), including some tapes that they had made themselves. While we appreciated the thought, the homemade videos ended up being tossed out because, if we have learned anything from the Paris Hiltons of the world it is that people often make poor, poor choices about what kinds of things should be captured on film. That was a risk we just weren't willing to take.

There were so many donations to sort through, we had to enlist some extra help to get everything done. The Elders currently serving in our area had a blast sorting through and organizing all of the donated Church books. Emily Barnes found a book written by her evil twin. And Katie found... well... lets just say that Katie came away from her book sorting experience with a lot of new information.
The dollar-a-bag books were by far the most interesting to sort. It was a blast to explore the different interests of the residents of our valley.

Sometimes sorting the books required a lot of thought. For example, would it be offensive to atheists if we shelved a book on Atheism in the religion section?

As a teacher of literature, some books' titles really stood out to me .

And some really, really stood out.

Some books stood out so much that I just couldn't resist buying them. I ended up with two bags full of mostly older books, like the Missionary Pal from 1959 and a cute little collection of readings and activities for the last day of school that had been published in 1934.

I'm looking forward flipping through this little gem. I wish President Sagers was still teaching institute. It would have been a BLAST to discuss its many levels of wrongness with him.

But my best purchase by far turned out to be a book that the other members of the friends of the library board found to be....umm... lets just say they were less than impressed it it. I, on the other hand, was smitten.It was just something that I had to own. In fact, I may have to buy a house just so I can buy a coffee table just so I can display this book at all times.

Unfortunately, I think my choice to add it to the "Save for Mindy" pile during the initial sorting may have caused a bit of a scandal in our little group wherein the median age is 70.

Behold:

I kind of doubt I will be asked to host any "Friends of the Library" dinner parties in the near future, but I'm ok with that. Its a shame this book was no where to be found when Timbri asked me to do a cooking demonstration for Relief Society, but I have high hopes for our old single adult potluck dinners.

Summer Vacation Destination: Hogwarts

For me, “summer” is the designated time for very specific activities. Summer is when I clean my apartment, eat snow cones, organize file cabinets, chase niblets, go to the bathroom whenever I want, and, perhaps most importantly, summer is when I read.

I buy books all year long, but during the school year it can be difficult to find time to read anything that wasn’t written by a 7th grader. So the new additions to my library end up sitting in piles around my apartment, neglected until I have the time to sit and savor them.
But no matter how many new books I have waiting for me when the break from classes begins, my summer reading binge always starts out with Harry Potter. I take one week each summer and immerse myself in all things Potter.

I was discussing my planned Potter-poloza with my lovely sister when she wondered aloud about the amount of time I will have dedicated to the books of J.K. Rowling during my life. Would I, she asked, regret all of those Harry, Sirius, and Dumbledore filled hours when the time comes to attend that last great parent/teacher conference in the sky?

Sure, there are a lot of other things I could be doing during the time it takes to pour over all 4,100 Potter-pages (4,207 pages if you count Tales of the Beedle Bard) , but I would like to take this opportunity to point out how much I can still accomplish while rereading my favorite fictional books of all time.

Thursday, July 8th

6:30 - 7:30 a.m. - Swim with Elizabeth. Discuss new recipes, nieces and nephews, and dogs while snorting and swallowing pool water.

7:31 a.m. - Realize I need to figure out how to visit and swim at the same time without drinking and/or snorting half the pool.

9:30 - 11:58 a.m. - Take advantage of kidlett-free classroom to work on lesson plans.

Noon - Head home to start my long anticipated week of Harry Potter.

12:05 p.m. - Pull "The Sorcerer's Stone" off the shelf, settle into the softest spot on the couch, and start reading.

12:06 p.m. - Stop after reading the first three pages to ponder upon the absolute genius of J.K. Rowling.

12:11 p.m. - Hit page 14 and get teary eyed at the mention of Sirius Black. Consider leaving the couch to put on Sirius Black T-shirt.

12:47 p.m. - Read about Harry's first Hogwarts banquet; realize I haven't had lunch; keep reading anyway.

1:25 p.m. - Hop in the car and drive over to the cute little city library to attend the first meeting of the Cassia County Library Legacy Project Committee.

1:29 p.m. - Change seats before the meeting started so as not to be distracted by the Hogwarts mural on the library wall. Focused on project committee business while softly humming Hedwig's Theme.

2:36 p.m. - Returned home to continue reading.

5:45 - 7:45 p.m. - Finished "The Sorcerer's Stone", cook/eat/clean-up dinner, call and visit with Elizabeth, call and visit with Zealanda, play "book ambassador" and arrange for Elizabeth to borrow the new Twilight novella from Zealanda.

7:46 p.m. - 11:00 p.m. - Demonstrate my amazing ability to multitask by reading the first half of "The Chamber of Secrets" while the first movie plays quietly in the background.

11:03 p.m. - Decide I am a huge nerd and go to bed.

Friday, July 9th

6:15 a.m. - Wake up. Decide that keeping track of activities by the minute is a waste of time that could be used marveling over J.K. Rowling's ability to flawlessly weave together plot points over 4,100 pages that were written over a period of about ten years.

6:16 a.m. -Decided to simplify life by keeping a time-free list of daily activities.

Swam laps while trying to maintain a normal conversation AND mentally drawing parallels between characters created by Rowling and Shakespeare.

Accidentally snorted/swallowed a lot of chlorinated water.

Got cleaned up, went to school to work on lesson plans, but ended up hanging out with the custodians instead.

Read.

Set up a blog for the Cassia County Library Legacy Project.

Played with my visiting IF nieces.

Reassembled my home after my visiting IF nieces departed.

Finished reading "The Chamber of Secrets" and read the first half of "The Prisoner of Azakaban."

Went to bed way too late and dreamt about going to a teacher in-service taught by Remus Lupin.

Saturday, July 10th

Woke up, attempted to get dressed and eat breakfast while reading "Azakaban".

Looked in the mirror, then changed into matching, breakfast-free clothing while resolving to improve my multitasking skills.

Vacuumed area where the attempted eating/reading occurred.

Continued reading, pausing to answer gloating texts from my parents who delighted in rubbing in the fact that they were in Canada and I wasn't.

Tried to decide which hex Hermione would use on her parents if they kept gloating about being in Canada without her.

Read. Teared up when Sirius invites Harry to move out of the Dursleys.

Answered more texts about Canada. Tried to explain to my father, via texts, that Canadians are polite, not gay.

Finished "Azakaban" in time to get ready to drive to Twin with Lacie and Krystal.

Thought very un-temple-ish thoughts while waiting 45 minutes for the boys to show up for our sealings assignment.

Bought slushies, came home, began reading "The Goblet of Fire".

Went to bed waaaaayyy toooooo late, and dreamt about attending the Quiddich World Cup in Toronto.

Sunday, July 11th

Went to Relief Society at the branch.

Visited with 3rd ward Relief Society sisters.

Caught the end of the Spanish branch Relief Society Meeting.

Went to my own ward.

Came home to eat dinner... was sorely tempted to read more Harry Potter.

Resisted temptation. Read 1st Nephi instead. Briefly wondered if it would be worse to be trapped in a room with Laman, Laban, or Mr. Malfoy.

Went to presidency meeting at the stake center.

Helped train new Relief Society Presidencies.

Went home and went to bed. Dreamt about taking a nap.

Monday, July 12th

Went to swim with Elizabeth and Cindy. Spent time gushing about my deep love and respect for J.K. Rowling. Didn't swallow quite as much pool water.

Went to apartment-sit for Emily so her Internet could be still be set up even though she had to help her parents move. Thought about how Emily could have done both if she had Hermione's cool time turner...

Went to school to work for four hours. Wondered which was nerdier...hanging out at the school in July or rereading all of the Harry Potter books every summer.

Went home. Finished "Goblet" and started "The Order of the Phoenix".

Made Zuppa Tuscana ala The Olive Garden for dinner. Yum.

Went to Elizabeth and Ratha's house to film a video about their mustard-colored kitchen.

Attempted to upload the video to a kitchen makeover contest site while visiting with Elizabeth, feeding her dog, and making lemon bars.

Decided that Elizabeth's dog would look just like Dobby the House Elf, if Dobby had been bit by Lupin during a full moon.

Tuesday, July 13th

Woke up, swam laps with Cindy, got ready for the day.

Went to school for 30 minutes and spent the whole time chatting with the custodians.

Came home and finished "Phoenix" in time to attend my ward's wonderful weekday Relief Society meeting.

Thought I was doing pretty darn good at putting Harry Potter out of my mind until I saw this sign near the location of our R.S. campfire and could have sworn it said, "Elf Service Fee Station."

Wednesday, July 14th

Went swimming.

Resisted the temptation to read "The Half-Blood Prince" before working on my lesson for institute.

Finished lesson and read most of "Prince".

Went to institute to sub for the new mission prep teacher. Pretended to be investigator with Kristi so the mission preppers could teach us.

Came home, finished "Prince", mourned for Dumbledore, and decided to name my second born child "Albus" (I had already decided to name my 1st born child Onomatopoeia) .

Thursday, July 15th Went swimming.

Didn't even think about going to school. Just read, read, read "The Deathly Hallows". Teared up when several of the 50+ characters were killed off. Seriously cried when Fred died, even though I knew it was coming.

Finished "Hallows" in time to eat dinner, make contact with the outside world, and checked cnn.com and google reader to see if I missed any important world events.

Changed into Muggle pajamas before bed.

And after pondering Jenny's question about regrets, I can honestly say that I only have one about spending this week with those seven books: This post is almost as long as a Harry Potter novel, yet there has been no mention of Nevill Longbottom or Krecher. What a waste!

Now, if you will excuse me, I have about 14 hours before I head down to Jenny's to give her children a remedial Harry Potter course, which should be more than enough time to reread book seven. Has anyone seen my Gryffindor quidditch captain shirt? Maybe its under my Dumbledore's Army shirt....oh well.

Yours Truly,

Nerd-etta VonNerdy Nerd

Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad (or Pie-Induced Social Interactions)

Well, summer is officially over here in Idaho.

The cooler weather has set in and the first frost has fallen .

September is beautiful, isn't it?

Just kidding.

Everyone knows we don't get our first real snow storms till October.

But I wasn't teasing about the cooler weather. This is how it really looked outside today. A little grey with some attempts at rain and, of course, the ever-present Idaho wind. But cooler weather meant that I could finally enjoy some of my favorite activities: wearing sweaters, reading books while wrapped up in warm blankets, and baking.I love hard-core cooking, but I don't get to do a lot of baking in the summer because of my lack of air conditioning. My stove may look harmless, but turning it on when it is even mildly warm outside transforms my apartment from this...

...to this. Not fun. And since I do not reside in a nudest complex or belong to a clothing-optional religion, I avoid turning on my oven in the summer at all costs.So I decided to take advantage of the cooler weather today and bake. Since reading about "buttermilk pie" on my sister-in-law's eldest sister's blog http://karlennandben.blogspot.com/ this week, I have been wanting to give it a try. So I found a recipe and whipped up some delicious custard filling.
This is where I have to make a confession.

Don't tell my mom (a.k.a Princess Perfect Pie Crust), but I used a store-bought pie shell. It's not that I can't make pie crust. I can. I make it all the time. But instead of using it as a pie shell, I roll it flat and sprinkle it with cinnamon and sugar to bake as pie crust cookies. When I need a pie shell, I worship at the alter of Marie Calendar because...and this is really hard for me to admit...I am pie-shell challenged.

Seriously. If there was a school for pie shells, I would ride the short bus.

If there was a pie shell ISAT, I would score somewhere between "below basic" and "lobotomized".

My pie shells are so ugly, the first time I brought one to a ward Halloween party, the scouts put it in the spook ally because it was the scariest thing in the building.

But since my store-bought shell wouldn't hold all of the butter-milky goodness I was forced to make a small shell to avoid a taste-waste of tragic proportions. Bet'cha can't guess which shell is mine...

Poor little pie crust. Too bad there isn't an "extreme pie shell makeover" show. At very least, this pathetic pastry warrants an appearance on Dr. Phil. Especially after being set so close to one of Marie Calendar's geometrically perfect crusts. Talk about inferiority complexes. This is like me sitting next to Angelina Jolie on a park bench...or it would be if the good looking pie had a bunch of tattoos and had adopted a bunch of foreign tartlets.

But both pies turned out pretty darn good, even without self esteem counseling. (Kar - your post has changed my life. I LOVE this pie. Really. Now if you could just blog some easy to follow instructions on how to get a date, your blog would officially be the best thing that has ever happened to me).

I had some extra ugly pie crust dough left, so I made some cookies. Cookies that I ate while wearing a warm sweater.

Sweaters, check. Baking, check. The final step in my perfect cool-weather day was to curl up on my couch to read my new book (the one my kidlets and I have had a running release-date countdown going for since school started). Then the phone rang. Then there was a knock at my door. Then the phone rang again. Then another knock.

So my book was abandoned as I spent the afternoon with Elizabeth and Adelle and then the evening with my new friend and fellow teacher Jill. Normally I don't have that much social interaction in a day...or in a week....or ever...but since word has gotten out that I have stopped handing out 7th grade spelling tests and red pens to everyone who comes through my door, people assume it is safe to visit me. Of course, some of today's social interactions were the result of word getting out that I was handing out slices of buttermilk pie at the door. That means, if I want to have a shot at getting my book read before a mass of kidlets breaks down my classroom door Monday morning to discuss it, I am either going to have to stay up all night reading or eat the rest of the pie, thereby removing the social interaction catalyst.
Hummm...I really do need my sleep, so I guess the pie will just have to go (So Kar, if your next blog post could be about how to get a date with a boy who doesn't mind going out with an anti-social chick with a butter-milk-pie-inflated-backside, I would really appreciate it).