Humility Calling

A few weeks before Christmas, a sweet Relief Society President called and asked if I would speak at her ward's weekday Relief Society meeting/visiting teaching conference. I have to admit that I was quite flattered... which should have been my first clue that this was not going to end well.

The invitation to speak also came with a musical number request, a request that some of the dear, sweet singles branch sisters agreed to help me with. See the two cute singles ward members there on the right? I was their teacher when they were 8th graders. And no, that isn't the embarrassing part. I was a bit nervous for the whole singing/speaking thing, causing all sorts of worst case scenarios to parade through my brain. One of those scenarios involved one or more of my cute little singers forgetting to show up so, as I was walking out the door of my apartment, I grabbed my cell phone. You know, just in case I needed to place an emergency reminder call or two.

Here's the thing. When I got to the stake center, I TURNED MY PHONE OFF. I stood in the entry way between the sets of glass doors and I turned it off. I did. It sang it's happy little turn-off song and everything. IT WAS OFF! So then I entered the stake center with my TURNED OFF cell phone in my coat pocket. The branch angels were already there, so there was no need for me to look at or even touch my phone again. I sat down. I stood up. I sang with the girls. I gave my talk/lesson. The ward sisters participated. It went well. The Spirit was present. Life was good.

I sat down again feeling pretty pleased with myself. And after the darling Relief Society president stood up and gave beautiful closing remarks and thanked me very graciously, I was feeling even more pleased with myself. By the time that wonderful president began to offer the closing prayer, I was feeling pretty darn good. Then I heard a cell phone go off.

At a Church meeting.

Where I was the guest speaker.

During the prayer.

How embarrassing for SOMEONE, right?

I was not at all worried. After all, I HAD TURNED MY PHONE OFF! So I spent a good 6 to 8 seconds thinking, "Wow! Someone else has the same ringtone as me!" before I finally realized that it was in fact MY ringtone accompanying the closing prayer. It was the Gilmore Girls, theme, lyrics and all, in case you were wondering.

Embarrassing?

Yes.

But it gets worse.

Knowing that it would take way too long to fish the offending phone out of my overstuffed Church bag,I jumped up and hauled the whole bag out the door.

I had sprinted half way down the hallway before I realized that the ringtone was getting quieter as I ran. It was at that horrible, soul-searing moment halfway down the hallway that I realized my phone - the one I had TURNED OFF - wasn't in my bag.

It was in my coat pocket.

And my coat was STILL ON MY CHAIR in the room where the Relief Society President was still praying.

So not only had I, the speaker for the evening, let my cell phone go off during the prayer, I had also run out of the room WITH OUT IT.

So I dropped my bag in the hallway and ran back in the room to grab my coat. By the time I ran away from the room the second time, my phone's screen was glowing with a missed call message ALMOST as brightly as my face was glowing with a bright red blush of humiliation.

I almost left right then. I had my coat and bag. I could have slunk out the back door, but I thought it would be better to go back in and take the teasing that I so richly deserved. I felt it was the right thing to do.

Plus, there were cookies in there.

I figured that, if I was going to be humiliated anyway, I might as well be humiliated as I ate cookies.

In retrospect, I guess it must have all happened for the best. I am now firmly recommitted to follow our local leader's council to not bring cell phones into the Church buildings at all. EVER. And the whole experience did prevent me from progressing from "pleased" to "prideful".

And really, it could have been a whole lot worse. At least the words to the Gilmore Girls theme fit in really well with the evening's subject matter. My"Wicked Witch of the West" "Harry Potter" ringtones would have done a lot more damage.

And I don't even want to think about the consequences of the missed call having come from my Dad.

I don't know if I could have shown my face in that ward ever again if my phone had sung out"If You Want to be Happy for the Rest of Your Life, Never Make a Pretty Woman Your Wife. So From My Personal Point of View, Get an Ugly Girl to Marry You."

Maybe I will ditch the music all together and go back to the old school ringtones that do nothing but ring. This was one of those cases when I sure wish I had been saved by a plain old bell.