And It Came To Pass...

...that I, Mindy, did liken all scripture unto our branch, that it might be for our posting and blogging.

And the flood was 40 days upon the earth... And God remembered the Parke Avenue Branch and their first boating activity of the season, and made the wind to pass over the earth, and the waters were assuaged; and the fountains also of the deep and the windows of heaven were stopped, and the rain from heaven was restrained, that the branch might go forth upon their boats for FHE. And now it came to pass that as the P.A.B.-er's were journeying to the Hobson boat docks, behold, to their astonishment, they met with the former branch presidency who were also traveling toward the river.

Now, these former branch presidency couples were with the P.A.B.-er's at the time the Stake President did first appear unto them to form the branch; therefore the P.A.B.-ers did rejoice exceedingly to see their brethren and sisters; and what added more to their joy, they were still their brethren and sisters in the Lord; yea, and they still owned their boats and consented to share them with the P.A.B.-ers. They they did all rejoice together.

And the branch presidency wives, both of the old and of the new, did say unto the young single adults, "Come thou and pile into the boats two by two. And onto every boat thou shalt take the YSA's in pairs: both male and female." And the branch presidency wives, both of the old and the new, did exhort them to go forth upon the waters and be social, and multiply their dates and bring forth abundant relationships that might flower and fill the branch.

But on that day we saw great tribulations among the tubers; and we also saw the sea, that it was troubled, and P.A.B-er's hearts failing them, looking forth with fear for the wake of the Barker's boat which should come upon the tubers.

And it came to pass that the boating brethren did FORGET to take the tube and bind the tube to the boat with cords...Nevertheless, Sister Hobson did discover these unbound cords as the boat did depart; and she did suffer that the cords might be bound to the tubes that the boat might show forth its great power.

And behold, in the beginning Lisa and Jill blessed the waters; but later in the evening they did curse the waters for their coldness. And it shall be said in the days to come that none is able to go up to the land of Zion upon the waters except they that are upright in heart and possessing of wet suits, that they might not find themselves frozen unto death.

And it came to pass that I looked and beheld the water weenie of the Barkers, and it did sit upon upon many waters; and the sisters of the branch did have dominion over it. And I did behold that the wrath of the waters was poured out upon the weenie, and upon the sisters who were upon the weenie. And the waters did rise up to cover the sisters; and the sisters did fall from the weenie. And great was the fall thereof.

And after much boating, Brother Rainson did call unto the branch and say, "Open your mouths and they shall be filled. Yea, come forth and prepare a bun with much ketchup and many pickles; for first cometh the baptism of river water, and then cometh the baptism of BBQ fire and smoke. And unless you partake of the water and the fire and the smoke, you can in nowise enjoy the cookies provided for dessert."

And so great were the blessings of FHE upon us, that while we did live upon medium-well-done-meat in the wilderness, our women did eat plenty of Cheetos, and were strong like unto the men; and they began to bear their shiverings without murmurings.

And I saw another branch president stand in the midst of the YSA, having the everlasting gospel to preach unto them that dwell in the branch, and to every single sister, and single brother, and engaged couple. And the branch presidents, both past and present, did stand before us. And the present president did give unto the past president a present. And the present that the present president did bestow upon the past president, and those like unto him. was a thing of great beauty. And the branch was overcome with graditute to the Lord for providing them with such choice leaders in both the past and the present. And Sister Jones wept.

And thus we see that the plans of the Family Home Evening Committee must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the members of the Parke Avenue Branch do pray for the rain to cease and attend FHE, they shall be nourished and strengthened and dragged behind motor boats until they have accomplished the things which the new branch presidency hath planed for them. Wherefore we all offer much thanks unto the former branch presidency who did provide means for us to boat while we did sojourn in the wilderness. And we do look forward to the day two weeks hence, when we might all gather again, in warmer weather, to partake of the bounty of the book of branch boating and BBQing.

And now, I bid unto all, farewell. I soon go to teach in the paradise of the institute building and then to rest in the comfort of my apartment until it is time once more to meet you at the pleasing bar of blogdom.