Problems

I have a problem.

Wait. Make that problems. (Notice please, 7th graders, the difference between the singular and plural forms of the word "problem" ...stuff like that will be on your ECA next week!)

There are several problems that are making my life more difficult at the moment, and because I am a giver, I am going to share a few of my problems with you today (consider it an early Christmas present...you can thank me later).

PROBLEM #1: Direct Writing Assessment Papers.
I have over 100 of them to grade. Most are two pages. That equals... a lot of grading. Like, a whole lot (hey, if you want specific numbers on things like this, visit a math teacher's blog, ok?). My kidlets finished the test around 10:10 a.m. last Tuesday and by 10:12 a.m. my desk was already surrounded by anxious kidlets wanting to know what they got. I told them that I would try to have the grades for them the next week...which quickly became this week. How many papers do I have scored? Two. That's right, two. It is going to be a very, very long week. PROBLEM #2: Snow

So we had a mulit-stake fast for moisture yesterday and it apparently worked.
Darn it.
Why can't all the times my sister has fasted for me to find an E.C. not payed off that fast? (don't deny it Jenny, you know you have)


The snow actually constitutes two problems for me.
First...I wear Crocs to school because, if I don't, the 17 hours a day I spend on my feet make my legs feel like I just spent a long weekend in one of the torture suits at Hotel Cheney.
Crocs + snow = cold, wet feet
and
cold, wet feet = a cranky Miss H.
(Not bad for not being a math teacher, eh?)

The second snow-related problem is this...
snow + roads + Miss H driving = dead and/or seriously injured and/or seriously freaked out Miss H.
I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE driving in the snow.
HATE!

But my DWA and snow related problems are nothing compared to the affliction that has be plaguing my every moment since last Friday...
PROBLEM #3: An Artemis-Fowl-Overdose-Induced-Irish-Accent.

My 7th graders and I have spent this quarter reading the first in a great series of novels that happen to be set in Ireland. That means that a significant portion of the characters are Irish. And that means that, when I read the book to the kidlets, I have to read a significant portion of the dialogue using an Irish accent. That wasn't a problem until this past week, when the rapidly ending quarter meant we had to spend most of each 90 minute class period reading. By the time my last English class left on Friday afternoon, I couldn't stop.

I'm not kidding. I had spent most of the week slinging an Irish brogue around, and when my 4-A yearbook kids showed up, I couldn't stop.

Poor yearbook kids...they have to suffer through a lot during 4A.

The rest of my kidlets don't seem to mind too much, though. This summer I bought the graphic novel adaptation of the book and scanned in some of the pictures so they have a visual to follow along with as we read.

The book is about a 12 year old evil genius. I love it because the protagonist is a bad guy...something you don't find very often. The kidlets love it because they all dream of being 12 year old evil geniuses.

Wait, that's not true.

There are a few who dream about being 13 year old evil geniuses.

So, between the fun plot, the great pictures, and my whole-hearted attempts at the accents and voices, reading the novel has been a pretty enjoyable experience for all of us...until now.

Now I can't stop.

I've tried, really I have.

I even started wearing a rubber-band around my wrist and snapping it when I slipped, per 2nd hour's suggestion.

Now I have an Irish accent and a sore wrist.

I answer the kid's questions about non-Artemis-related things with the accent. I answer other teachers questions with the accent. I talk to my mother on the phone with the accent. I swear last night...I dreamed with the accent.

And did I mention that my wrist really hurts?

Thank goodness we are at the end of the book. Two classes finished it today (and totally kicked trash on the AR test! Woo Whoo!!!! Way to go, 100 percent-ers!), two should finish tomorrow, and if I can make it till Wednesday without suffering any head wounds caused by things thrown by annoyed students, the last class should be finished with it by 9:20 a.m. on December 10th.

So if I get the rest of the papers graded by Friday and the faith of the people in the Magic Valley decreases significantly thus ending the moisture blessings, most of my problems will be solved by next week.

But right after Christmas my kidlets and I start two new novels...one set in England and the other set in the southern U.S.

By the time this school year is over, my Sunday school and mission prep kids are going to need a urim and thummim and/or the gift of tongues to understand a word I say.

And then there is the problem of my sister fasting for me to get a date...

Humm....

Oh well.

Opposition in all things, right?