They, the Builders of Our Fair Booth: Another Chapter from the Book of Mindy

This year's fair theme is "Country Pride County Wide," and unless the judges' integrity has been compromised, I think there is a blue ribbon in our future. Thanks Heidi and Tim!

1. And now behold, when the spring had sprung in Cowtown, yeah, even when its rural scent had reached its bovine pinnacle, even then did the stake Relief Society presidency begin to discuss the fair booth.

2. And they did say one to another, “Let us go out into the wards and the branches of the stake where we might seek amongst the sisters, even amongst the most crafty and creative of sisters, one who could design for us a winning fair booth.”

1   3.  And so the sisters of the stake Relief Society did go out into the wards and branches of the stake, where they did seek a creatively crafty genius sister who might design a fair booth that could deliver unto them a blue ribbon.

2   4. For behold, they hath sought after blue ribbons all the days of their presidency.

1   5. But after days of searching, the stake sisters had still not found a sister to design the fair booth.

2   6. For all of the creatively crafty genius sisters had also seen and smelled the signs of spring in Cowtown. And they did take these signs and smells into their hearts and did realize that the time of the assigning of the designing of the fair booth was at hand.

3   7. And knowing these things, the creatively crafty genius sisters of the stake did hide themselves from the stake Relief Society presidency.

4   8. Yeah, when the crafty sisters did see the stake sisters approach, some did suddenly remember important dentist appointments and did flee with great haste.

5   9. And other sisters did find places within the ward and branch buildings to hide themselves; some diving behind couches while others sought refuge in the sticky and smelly domain of the nursery classes. 

1  10. But despite the great amounts of running and hiding their presence did inspire, the stake leaders did continue to search and to ponder and to pray to find a sister who might be persuaded or bribed or compelled to design a fair booth.

1  11.  In that same stake, in the ward named Eleven, there dwelt a sister called Heidi who was known throughout the land as one of the most creatively crafty genius sisters in the stake, yeah, even in the whole valley.

2  12. And Sister Heidi, having been recently released as a ward Relief Society president, was weary, yeah, even so weary that when the stake sisters did appear unto her, she was unable to outrun them.

3  13. And when Heidi, in her post-president weariness, had been thusly cornered, did the stake sisters invite her to design a fair booth, even a fair booth of such awesomeness that it would kick the trash of the fair booths of the other stakes, albeit in a charitable way.

1  14. And upon receiving this invitation did Heidi exclaim, “Behold! Rememberst thou not that thou hast sought my help with the fair booth previously? Yeah, even in the first year of thy service in the stake didst thou seek me out and invite me to design thy first booth. But I could not, for in that same summer did I have surgery.”

2  15. And the sisters of the stake did remember that they had forgotten this thing.

  16. And Heidi continued, “Yeah, when thou didst ask me and I could not, I did know then that my escape would be but temporary. And for these many years I did know deep in my heart that someday thou wouldst return and the fair booth would be thrust upon me.”

  17. “And having carried this truth with me these many years, and not having the foresight to schedule another surgery for this summer,  I will design the fair booth of the stake.”

18.  And from that day did Heidi go forth and, with her construction-oriented husband Tim the Tool Man, did design a fair booth for the stake.

    19. And for weeks did Heidi and Tim cut and glue and paint, yeah so many cans of spray paint did Heidi wield that her hand did cramp and her fingers did freeze, and her brain grew fuzzy with fumes. 

    20.  And when the day appointed unto the setting up of the booth did arrive, the sisters of the stake Relief Society did meet Heidi and Tim at the fairgrounds. And at the fairgrounds did Heidi and Tim unveil the fruits of their great labors. 

    21. And as the sisters of the stake did gaze upon those great labors, they were struck speechless.

    22.  For behold, Heidi had built a railroad bridge, and a mountain, and a turn of the century Relief Society building.

    23. But this is not all.

    24. For Heidi and Tim had also build an airplane, AN AIRPLANE, that they did hang from the ceiling above the booth. AN AIRPLANE!

   25. And when the stake sisters did regain their powers of speech, they did prostrate themselves at the feet of Heidi, and also of her husband Tim, and they did thank them for their sharing of their time and their talents, and for the huge amounts of work they did do, and of fumes they did inhale.

   26. And the designers of the booths for the other stakes did look upon Heidi’s booth and despair. For they beheld the blinding awesomeness of Heidi’s booth and did know that their they had been beaten, albeit in a very charitable way. And they did marvel at the way that had been so thoroughly yet charitably defeated.  

   27. And when the construction of the booth was complete, when the mountain had been moved and the airplane had taken flight, then Heidi, a truly creative crafty genius, and her husband Tim the Tool Man, did leave the fair grounds.

   28.  And they did take their journey back to their home, were they did attempt to rest.

   29. For behold, they knew that they must get much rest if they were to have any hope of out running the stake leaders in the coming year.

30.  And just to be safe, both Heidi and Tim did decide to schedule surgeries for next summer.

The Book of Mindy: And My Kidlets Dwelt in Tents (or The Time I Ate an Ant at Girls' Camp)

The theme for The Other Stake's 2014 Girls Camp.

1. And it came to pass, at the closing of the school year, the Principal, even The Best Principal Ever, did make a proclamation throughout all the school that an awards assembly would be held.

2. And on the evening appointed for the honoring of the kidlets , all of the teachers, kidlets, and parents, did attend. Yea, even some siblings and grandparents did attend, even what appeared to Miss H as all the people in the land did gather themselves together in the Junior High Cafetorium.

Sister G and the Jr. Leaders sing a bee-related song with the girls.

3. And Miss H, notwithstanding her great fear of speaking in front of big people, did attend. And when Miss H did see that there was a great number of big people present, even so many that they could not be numbered except by the math teachers, Miss H was sore afraid.

Campers play a game using giant fly swatters.

4. But when the time of Miss H’s award presentation had passed, yea, when the rocks had been given to the chosen kidlets and she could once again retake her seat, then did Miss H’s fear abate, and her shaking did cease. And Miss H was joyful, for she knew that she would not have to speak at another awards ceremony for no less than twelve months.

A cute camper models a not-quite-thawed T-shirt her team successfully pulled apart during the frozen t-shirt game.

5. And she did take courage in that thought, and also in the prospect that she might be injured by a bus just before the next awards ceremony and by so doing she might escape having to speak in front of big people for yet another year. 

Valerie and Mindy lurk in the trees, startling unsuspecting kidlets.

6. And after the awards ceremony did end and all of the kidlets had received their awards, as Miss H was pondering ways to incur non-fatal bus-related injuries,  Sister G, even the president of the Young Women from THE OTHER STAKE, did appear unto Miss H. And the words that she spake unto Miss H were these:

7. “Behold, our stake girls camp doth quickly approach, and notwithstanding our great preparations, we are still without a speaker for the last night, yea, even a keynote speaker who can speak upon our theme. And this lack of a speaker hath greatly weighed upon our minds, therefore we have prayed many days that a speaker might be shown unto us. And behold, while driving home from Twin Falls today, it was made known unto me that thou might give a decent talk. Might thou be free on June 19^th?”

8. And it was in this manner that Sister G did invite Miss H to speak at girls camp. 

The cute themed bag and journal presented to me by the youth leaders. 

9. But Miss H, while being greatly flattered by the invitation (for behold, Miss H is easily flattered), did exclaim unto Sister G, “But behold, I am not a member of thy stake! For I live across Overland Avenue and therefore have been adopted into the Best, I mean WEST stake. How then mayest I speak at your girls camp?”

10. And Sister G did reply, “Worriest thou not for this thing. For behold, my Stake President will call thine Stake President and they shall work these things out amongst themselves and all shall be well. So now, cometh thou to our girls camp to speak?”

11. And Miss Haws, being greatly flattered by the invitation and having a deep and abiding love of girls camp, yea, and even because she was still on an adrenaline high from surviving the awards ceremony, she did accept the invitation.

The lanyard, complete with all of the week's recognition pins and clips, presented to me by the youth leaders.

12. And it came to pass that, later that night while talking to Valerie who is also of The Other Stake, even as the adrenaline high did abate, did Miss Haws realize what she had done.

13. And behold, she began to freak out.

The still-squirming, giant, disgusting, camp ant the girls caught for me to eat.

14. And she did exclaim unto Valerie, “Why did I say I would go up unto the girls camp to speak? For behold, the camp is in the woods far from Cowtown, and if I should try to find it I will get lost in the desert and surly die! For I know that I will get lost, and when I pull over to the side of the road to cry bitter tears over my lostness, then shall a bear attack my car and eat me. For behold, I am delicious unto bears.”

15. And Valerie, her friend and fellow teacher, did speak unto her words of comfort, saying, “Fear not, for behold I know the way to camp, and I will driveth thou and go with thee unto the camp, and I will also surely bring thee up again, that thou will not be eaten by a bear, even no creature larger than a mosquito shall taste thee.”

Me eating the ant.

16. And Miss H did thank Valerie, but even in the moment of giving the thanks, she did realize that, in speaking to the girls, she would also have to speak unto their leaders and their Bishops and their Bishop’s wives, yea she would have to speak to all manner of big people.

17. And suddenly the thought of being eaten by a bear did become less objectionable, yea, when compared to speaking to such a group, being eaten by a bear did become by far the better option.

18. And it came to pass that, after much preparation and much stressing and many calls to her parents who were likewise known for their speaking abilities, the talk was written and the day wherein Valerie and Miss H would depart unto the girls camp did arrive.

Me, almost throwing up, while eating the ant.

19. And they took their journey from Cowtown and came into the wilderness of Pinedale, on the nineteenth day after the departing of the Kidlets from the school.

20. And when Miss H and Valerie did arrive at the place of the camp, they did watch the girls as they engaged in camp related activities. And when the campers saw that their teachers had thus come up, they were startled.  And they did say unto each other:

21. “Behold, whyfore have our teachers  appeared thusly in the woods? Behold, the randomness of their presence doth confuse and confound us.” And after this manner did the camping kidlets speak amongst themselves. 

Me, trying to make sure no pieces of the ant lingered in my mouth.

22. And in the course of time, did the junior leaders, even the Youth Stake Leaders, bear gifts to Miss Haws to thank her for traveling unto the wilderness to speak unto them. And with the gifts, they did present a lanyard which was heavy laden with pins and clips of recognition for deeds that the campers had been accomplishing during the week.

Me and some sweet(?) kidlets showing off our officially earned ant-eating awards.

23. And Miss H did admire the lanyard and was grateful for it, until she did notice one such clip that was given in recognition for eating an ant, even a large, live, crunchy ant of the forest variety. And Miss H did ask the kidlets the meaning of these things.

24. And the kidlets did say unto Miss H, “Behold, the eating of a large, live, crunch ant of the forest variety is a tradition among our people. And although we can tell thee not WHY this has become a tradition in our stake, we can tell thee that the eating of a large, live, crunch ant of the forest variety earns the eater there of great respect and recognition, which is symbolized by the clip.”

The youth leaders sing a song on stage to kick off stake/bishop's night.

25. And although Miss H did not understand this tradition, she did see that it was of great worth unto the girls of this stake. And Miss H did seek to remove the clip from her lanyard, and did tell the kidlets that, having not partaken of a large, live, crunchy an , did not feel worthy to wear the clip.

26. But the kidlets, possibly seeking revenge for the great number of essays they had been forced to write during the year, did say unto Miss H, “Why should thou remove the clip, when it would be just as easy for you to retain the clip and wear it with pride, after having eating a large, live, crunchy ant of the forest variety?”

27. And Miss H, not wanting to lose the respect of the kidlets, did give into peer pressure and did lift up her eyes and exclaim, “Behold, I am a stranger in a strange stake wherein ants are eaten. Therefore, bring unto me an ant, even a large, live, crunchy ant of the forest variety and I shall eat it.”

The stake leaders keep with the "be" theme sporting beehives for a musical presentation during stake/bishop's night.

28. And there went forth a beehive of the 8^th ward, and she did bring forth an ant. And the kidlets did look upon the ant and they did see that it was large, and alive, and appeared quite crunchy. And they did present the ant to Miss H, and they did invite her to eat of the ant.

29. And Miss H did look upon the ant and she did regret her words, yea, she regretted her words that she would eat the ant and also the words that she should come to the camp at all. And she did cast her eyes around her in hopes of seeing a hungry bear, that she might be consumed by the bear instead of thusly consuming the ant.

30. But alas, no bears were in sight. So the kidelts did place the ant, while it was still alive into a bite-sized Snickers bar. And they did give the Snickers to Miss H. And as the ant did try to escape the Snickers bar, Miss H did eat it.

31. And behold, it was gross. And Miss H did struggle mightily not to vomit. But Miss H did not vomit, but did earn the respect of the campers to whom she was to speak that night. 

Bishops (or their counselors) are honored before competing in the Bishops' Challenge events.

32. And when she did speak that night, all was well. For behold, after eating a large, living, crunchy ant of the forest variety, speaking to big people did become less terrifying unto her.

33. For behold, after eating an ant, how can thou have any fear of something so simple as speaking? Unless thou hast the large black leg of an ant stuck between thy teeth as thou speaketh. For that would indeed be upsetting. 

The campers watch the Bishops' Challenge, unaware that their speaker is in the biffy trying to floss ant legs out of her teeth before taking the stand. 

Feasting Upon the Word of God (and pizza)

1. And now it came to pass in the early days of Mindy's aunt-hood, yea when Mindy's niblets could even be counted upon one hand;

2. In those days, was a tradition of competition established between Mindy and the eldest of her niblets;

3. And the eldest of her niblets was called Bentley, and Bentley was very wise in the ways of astronomy.

4. So wise was Bentley in the ways of astronomy, that he did challenge his Aunt, even his professional educator aunt, to a competition of knowledge, yea, knowledge of the heavens and of all the things therein.

5. And Mindy, secure in her own highly educated state, and knowing that Bentley, while wise, was only in 1st grade, did accept this challenge.

6. And Mindy did lose, yea she did lose miserably, yea she did have her  backside handed to her by a first grader.

7. And Mindy wept.

8. But notwithstanding her miserable loss and her weeping, Mindy did continue to accept challenges from her niblets, and as many challenges as Mindy did accept, she did speedily lose, even a Harry Potter challenge did Mindy lose to her very wise nephews.

9. And so it came to pass that at the end the eleventh year of Mindy's aunt-hood, even in the summer  year 2013, the traditional time of the traditional niblet challenge did arrive, and Mindy was sore afraid.

10. And just as Mindy was about to accept yet another challenge wherein she would have her backside handed to her by children, even children who routinely put their pants on backwards;

11. Before she could be schooled by these same niblets, Mindy's mind was opened to sudden inspiration and she did share this inspiration with her niblets via first class mail.

12. Yea, instead of challenging her nephews directly to a competition of worldly knowledge, Mindy did invite them to challenge themselves to learning scriptures, even to memorizing scripture mastery verses over the course of the summer.

13. And Mindy did promise her nephews that, if they would accept the challenge and memorize the scriptures she would send, they would be more fully prepared for seminary and for missions;

14. And she did promise them increased spiritual strength and power to resist temptation;

15. And she did also promise them, that if they did memorize the scriptures, she would take them out for dinner, even to a restaurant of their choosing.

16. And while the nephews did somewhat desire increased spiritual strength, they did GREATLY desire being taken out to dinner to a restaurant of their choosing;

17. And even though this challenge denied them the opportunity to heap great amounts of humiliation upon their aunt, they did accept the challenge to memorize the Word of God.

18. And it came to pass that Mindy did choose scriptures that would be of great benefit to her nephews, and she did type them onto cards of many colors and did mail them to her nephews.

19. Yea, every week she did mail one additional scripture to her nephews; and every week her nephews did memorize their scriptures.

20. And great was the memorizing thereof.

21. And at the end of the summer Mindy did visit her nephews and she did inquire of them the status of their memorization efforts.

22. And because she is a teacher, and because she had not given any tests or quizzes for three months, Mindy did give unto her nephews a scripture test;

23. And the scripture test did test the niblets knowledge of how to use the scriptures they had learned;

24. And it came to pass that the niblets did pass the test with flying colors, and did qualify themselves for a dinner out at a restaurant of their choosing.

25. And after much arguing and fighting and gnashing of teeth (because it turneth out that they each in turn hated the restaurant choice of their brothers) a restaurant was chosen, even an all-you-can-eateth pizza buffet.

26. And the niblets did indeed eat all they could, astounding amounts of pizza did they eat, yea, they did feast upon the fruits of their summer-long scripture feast.

27. And at the end of the meal Mindy did look upon her niblets, and she did see that they were full of pizza, and she did know that they were full of pizza because they were full of scriptures.

28. And Mindy was glad. 

And The Sisters of the Stake did Meet Together Oft... Another Passage from the Book of Mindy

Chapter 1

1. In the second month of the 2,012^th year, during the third year of the reign of President Jones over the West Stake, did the Stake Relief Society hold a dinner and a conference. And many sisters did attend, yea, 308 sisters did attend.

2.  And great was the eating and the conferencing therein.

3. And the Relief Society presidency was glad; yea, for about two and twenty minutes was the presidency glad.

4. But after eating and conferencing for two and twenty minutes, a great fear did settle upon the presidency, for they did realize that in twelve short months, another meeting must be held; and they were sore afraid.

5. And from that time on, the Relief Society presidency did begin to plan the 2013 meeting.

Highlights from last year's meeting.

Chapter 2

 

1. In the fall of the 2,012^th year,  after the days of the fair booth were accomplished, did the Relief Society presidency begin in earnest to make preparations for the next stake Relief Society meeting.

2. But they were confounded in their planning, yea, the great success of the previous meetings did weigh heavily upon them, and they knew not what to plan.

3. And after many minutes of silent pondering,  Mindy did speak unto Jolene and Sue, saying… “Remember, remember, our previous meetings.”

4. And Jolene and Sue did remember, but despite their great remembering, Mindy did continue to speak thusly:

5. “For our first meeting, did not President and Sister Jones speak unto the sisters? And was it not wonderful?”

6. “And for our second meeting, were not the sisters uplifted though song and dance?”



Our Angel

 

 

7. “And who canst forget the miracle of last year’s meeting, wherein the sisters moved from room to room receiving instruction and inspiration?”

8. Then Mindy continued, “Were not these meetings successful? Why then can we not combine ALL these things? Would not a meeting wher in President and Sister Jones sang and danced in a multitude of rooms uplift, instruct, and inspire the sisters three-fold?”

9. And Jolene and Sue did ponder these sayings in their hearts before shooting each other a knowing look, even that look which doth day, “Sister Mindy doth need to get more sleep.”

10. And so the idea of having President and Sister Jones sing and dance in a multitude of rooms did go the way of many of Mindy’s other wackadoodle ideas.

11. But soon a new idea was presented, even the idea to have a special guest speaker travel to the meeting. And the Relief Society Presidency saw that this idea was good.

12. And so the Relief Society Presidency set out to invite, or lure, or beg a guest speaker of great renown to the meeting. And President and Sister Jones did sleep in peace, knowing that they would not be asked to sing and dance in a multitude of rooms.

 

Scott and Paul not only helped set up tables and chairs, they also precisely folded 324 pink napkins.

 

Chapter 3

 

1. So, with this idea in mind, did Jolene set out to find a special guest speaker who would be willing to travel to the West Stake, even to that stake which is choice amongst stakes.

2. And in the month of September did Jolene go in search of a special guest speaker.

3. For behold, many phone calls were made and a multitude of emails were sent, and the Relief Society presidency did feel secure in the knowledge that a special guest speaker would soon be acquired.

The night before the meeting, Diane led us in putting pink-frosted heart cookies in pink-polka-dotted bags with scriptures printed on pink paper and tied on with pink ribbon.

 

5. And likewise in November and even into December did the Presidency continue to search for a special guest speaker.

6. And in December word was received that a speaker, an author famous among LDS readers, had agreed to travel to the West Stake to speak unto the sisters.

7. And in December there was much rejoicing amongst the Relief Society presidency.

8. But in January, word did reach the Relief Society presidency that their speaker, even their special guest speaker, was ill and, being ill, would not be able to make the journey from Utah to the West Stake.

9. And so Jolene did return to making many phone calls and sending multitudes of emails.

10. And in their despair, some of the sisters did consider asking the Joneses to sing and to dance…

It took us about 3 1/2 hours to do 320 cookies.
It is sure a good thing we all like hanging out together so much!

 

11. But behold, the Joneses and the Relief Society presidency were saved when another special guest speaker agreed to travel to the West Stake.

12. And this special guest speaker who agreed to make the journey was known throughout the land as the biographer of President Thomas S. Monson, yea, even Sister Heidi Swinton, a writer and speaker of great renown .

13. And so in January of the 2,013^th year, did the Stake Relief Society acquire a special guest speaker, yea, even an exceptionally special guest speaker, and the sisters did then begin to prepare the rest of the meeting.

 

The color scheme for the meeting was cream and pink with black accents. Sister Each table had a picture of the Savior and a sign proclaiming, "Seek this Jesus". The center of the hall had lighted tables with pictures and figures of the savior and a giant, lighted floral centerpiece. The front of the hall featured famed pictures of the Savior on lighted tables with lighted trees on the sides. Have I mentioned that Sister Woodhouse are Sister Thruston are geniuses?

 

Chapter 4

1. And in the first month of the 2,013^th year, the Stake Relief Society presidency did attempt to plan a ginormous meeting to be held in three months time.

2. And as they were in the midst of their preparations, an angel did appear unto them.

3. And the angel spake unto them saying, “Fear not, for behold I come to you with color schemes and centerpiece ideas, yea, even menu options do I bring unto you, and all for your meeting which must surely come to pass in a few months time.”

4. And the Relief Society was greatly comforted, for this angel was well known unto them, for behold she had delivered the Relief Society presidency from near destruction  many times with her talents for planning and beautifying.

5. And the angel’s name was Sister Woodhouse, and from that time on the sisters of the Relief Society Presidency did cease to worry; for they knew that where Sister Woodhouse signs on, success doth always follow.

The dinner was chicken cordon bleu, green salad, fruit kabobs, rolls, and cheesecake. Most of the dinner was prepared by the folks at Morey's Steakhouse, to whom we are eternally indebted.

 

Chapter 5

1. And so, in the fourth month of the 2,013^th year, during the fourth year of the reign of President Jones over the West Stake, did the Stake Relief Society hold a dinner and a conference.

2. And the theme of this conference, suggested by their special guest speaker, even their VERY special guest speaker Sister Heidi Swinton, was “Seek This Jesus”.

3. And the color of the conference was pink; and great was the pinkness thereof.

4. And when the evening of the meeting had arrived, the sisters of the West Stake did enter into the stake center; and they did behold the beauty of the cultural hall, yea, the cultural hall that had been decorated by many hands according to Sister Woodhouse’s instructions.

5. And the sisters saw the hall and they exclaimed unto themselves, “Wow.”

6. But when the time for the opening prayer had arrived, yea, the prayer that would commence the eating of the chicken cordon bleu and the fruit kabobs and the rolls and the salad and the cheese cake;

7. When that time did arrive, behold, the very special guest speaker had not. And once again, the fear settled upon the hearts of the Relief Society presidency.

8. But President Jones did try to relieve their fears saying, “I know your speaker shall arrive in time to speak but, if by some slim chance she doth not arrive in time to speak, behold: The entire Stake Presidency is in attendance. And, because of the great love the Stake Presidency has for the Sisters in this stake, we shall be willing to speak unto them this night.”

Dinner began at 6:30 p.m. and there was a very special musical number written by our very own Paige Beck, featuring six singing sisters, a string quartet, and a flute.

 

9. But the Stake Presidency did not speak to the sisters that night.

10. For behold, fifteen minutes after the meeting had started, yea, just as the sisters were polishing off their chicken and preparing to partake of their cheesecake, a great cry arose from the south foyer.

11. And this was the cry that arose: Sister and President Swinton hath arrived!

12. And when the Relief Society presidency heard this cry, they did, in unison, exhale a sigh of relief, and so great was the exhaling that it was only surpassed in fervency by the greatness of the offering of prayers of thanks.

13. And as Sister Swinton spoke of our beloved Prophet, even President Monson, and as she did use his life to instruct the sisters in making time in their lives and room in their heart for Jesus, behold, prayers of thanks were offered my many.

 

Sister and President Swinton stayed after the meeting to visit with sisters and joined our traditional group photo before they drove home to Utah that night. (from left to right: Jalene, Sue, me, President Swinton, Sister Swinton, Jolene, Diane, Bonnie, and Kristi.)

Chapter 6

1. And so the Stake Relief Society dinner and conference did proceed as planned; with over 300 sisters  of the stake being fed physically and nourished spiritually.

2. And at the conclusion of Sister Swinton’s remarks, the Relief Society Presidency did thank her, and they did thank her husband, even President Swinton, and they did thank the many sisters and brethren who helped to make the meeting a blessing in the lives of the sisters in the West Stake.

3. And when the meeting had ended and the Swintons had departed back to the land of Utah; yea, when the serving wear had been washed and the chairs stacked and the goldfish cracker crumbs vacuumed off the floor of the nursery;

4. And when the centerpieces who stood taller than all of the nursery children, yea, and even the one floral arrangement that stood taller than many Young Women nursery leaders, when those centerpieces had been put away,  only then did the Relief Society presidency return unto their homes.

5. And that night , the Relief Society presidency offered more prayers of thanks and then slept soundly, and dreamed of pink frosting and pink ribbon and pink flowers and pink dresses.

6. And great was the pinkness thereof.  

We would be lost without our wonderful Priesthood brethren who stayed until the lights went out and the doors were locked. We would have liked to get Brother Woodhouse in the photo too, but he didn't stand still long enough.

 

The Light of the World Can Not Be Hid, But the World's Lights Have No Such Promise

Chapter One
1. And it came to pass in those days that there went out a decree from President Jones that all the auxiliaries should be trained.
2. And all auxiliary presidencies went to be trained, each into their own corner of the stake center.
3. But on the day before the training, the stake Relief Society Presidency arose and went up from their homes unto the stake center to prepare for the training which was to come.

4. And they did bring with them their lap tops, and their LCD projectors, and their CD players and their lighthouse nightlights.
5. Yea, many corded things did they bring that did require much electricity.
6. And after the many corded things were set up and plugged in, the Relief Society presidency did look around and behold their preparations and did declare them to be good.
7. And the presidency did leave the stake center, and all of their preparations, and did return unto their own homes.
8. And they did sleep well, firm in the knowledge that their preparations would be found acceptable on the morrow.
Chapter Two
1. Then, when the time of the training meeting was soon to be accomplished, did Mindy prepare to return to the stake center to help Sister Woodhouse with the final training preparations.
2. Yea, the previous evening’s preparations not-with-standing, there was still much to prepare.
3. But as Mindy was yet preparing to depart unto the stake center, her lights did cease to light, and flat iron did cease to iron. Even every electronic device did cease to function within Mindy’s house.
4. But Mindy did not panic. Instead, Mindy did leave her apartment and did travel to the stake center.
5. And as she drove, Mindy did say unto herself, “I will go and make my preparations for the meeting, for I know that the stake center shall have power, it being nearly six blocks hence.”
6. But when she did arrive at the stake center, she did see that it was dark. And she did exclaim unto herself, “Uh oh.”
7. Then did Mindy venture into the darkened stake center. And great was the darkness thereof.
8. And she did hear Sister Woodhouse calling out, for behold Sister Woodhouse had been in the gym when the darkness had descended. And it did take much time, yea even a great many minutes, for Sister Woodhouse to find her way out of the darkened gym and into the darkened hallways.
9. And Mindy and Sister Woodhouse did enter the almost-prepared Relief Society room. And they did sit near the window in the waning evening light and they did ponder the meaning of these things.

Chapter 3
1. And then Jolene and Sue did arrive, yea and the other stake auxiliary presidencies also came forth to attend the training.
2. And some of the presidencies were wise, and some were foolish.
3. They that were wise brought with them lanterns and flashlights and handouts... none of which required power.
4. But they that were not so wise took no flashlights with them, but instead they did bring powerpoints and LCD projectors. Yea, even CD players did they bring.
5. And at 6:30 p.m. there was a cry made, Behold, the Stake President cometh!
6. Then all those auxiliary presidencies rose to come out to meet him and to hear his counsel regarding the darkness and general lack of power that had befallen them.
7. And the wise presidencies turned on their lanterns and their flashlights. And Mindy said unto them, "Give me one of your flashlights, for I have none."
8. But the other presidencies answered saying, “Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you.”

9. And Mindy did ponder these things in her heart.

Chapter 4
1. And so all of the stake auxiliary presidencies, those with flashlights and those without, did rush out to meet the Stake President.
2. And they did cry unto him, “Behold the darkness!” And the Stake President did behold the darkness, but the darkness troubled him not.
3. For thus sayeth the Stake President, “Fear not, for the power shall return in due time, and if it doth not return the training will continue. For behold, did Moses need power to train the Israelite Relief Society? Did Alma, yea even Alma the Younger, require power to train the Nephite Young Women’s leaders? Did the pioneers need power to train the Primary Presidencies?
4. “I say unto you nay, nay, and nay. They did not need the power of man to accomplish the work of the Church. So shall we go forth as those stake leaders, for behold, the Power of the Spirit shall be with us.”
5. And so the Young Women presidency and the Primary presidency, and even the stake presidency did all prepare to teach by flashlight light.
6. But the Stake Relief Society sisters did remain troubled. For behold, their entire training presentation did hinge upon the use of power.

7. And so the minutes to the meeting did steadily depart and the ward auxiliary presidencies did steadily arrive.
8. And among those arriving was Sister Rasmussen, even the 1st Ward Relief Society president, and she did proclaim to Jolene, and to Sue, and to Mindy that Brother Rasmussen’s funeral home did yet have power.
9. Yeah, and she did invite the Relief Society to move their training into the funeral home.
10. But President Jones heard these things and shook his head. And he did say again, “Have I not told thee to cease from worry? Have faith. For behold, the power shall return again at 6:55, and even if it should not, ye shall train here, for the refreshments ye have prepared are here. And neither I nor the refreshments shall move.Therefore, take three deep breaths and prepare to train whether in darkness or in light.”
11. And the Relief Society Sisters did take deep breaths, and they did exercise their faith, yea, even to the procuring and plugging in of additional extension cords. But this is not all.
12. For they did also begin to arrange for a generator to be brought to the front of the stake center, that power cords might be brought through the window and into the Relief Society room.
13. For behold, there is power in faith, but there is also power in generators.
14. And then did the Relief Society Presidency, even Jolene and Sue, and Mindy, and their beloved Sister Woodhouse, they did enter into the darkened chapel.
15. And as President Jones did rise to adjust various flash lights upon the pulpit, the battery operated chapel clock did strike 6:55. And as the clock did strike 6:55, the power did return unto the stake center.
16. And as the power did return, the Stake President, even President Jones did turn to the auxiliary presidencies who were seated behind him on the stand. And he did smile at them as if to say, “Did I not tell you that it would be thus?” Chapter 5
1. And so the training of the auxiliary presidencies did commence, and there was much rejoicing. And after the Stake Presidents opening words, the Relief Society presidencies did gather together and did surround themselves with lights and with lap tops and with every kind of electric presentation technology available.

2. And as Mindy did sit at the lap top, surrounded by power cords that were indeed full of power, she did gaze upon the many light houses that adored the displays and the handouts and the invitations and the powerpoints. And she did think upon the theme that Sister Hobson had chosen for the meeting, “Let the Lower Lights be Burning.”
3. And Mindy did take a moment to enjoy the irony of the darkened training that had been centered upon lighting way for others, for great was the irony therein.
4. And Mindy did say unto herself, “Behold, there needs must be an important lesson to be learned from this, even a metaphor or analogy that will be of worth to us in days and years to come.
5. “And if not, at least it shall make for an entertaining blog post.”