They've Got My Back

I have a lot of good friends here in my cute little cow town.

The kind of friends who can be counted on to don false facial hair for Red Ribbon Week's Mustache Day (I mustache you not to do drugs... Get it? "mustache you"... Junior high humor at it's best!). I would have been somewhat reluctant to sport the stick-on lip-fuz had if I thought I would be the only teacher to participate. But I knew Valerie would be game to play along. And she was!

Then last night, as I was finishing up sub plans in preparation for today's district meeting, I confessed to Valerie that I was a little nervous about attending the meeting.

During the last district meeting I attended, a principal from another school had started talking smack about my school. That time, my assistant principal was there for me to commiserate with. This time I would be on my own.

But then Val let me know that her husband, a very nice, smackless-talking principal from another school would also be at the meeting. That piece of information led to this exchange:

Val: I told Bill to watch out for the mean girls trash-talking about the junior high and to protect our good name, if necessary.

Me:Excellent. He can be my "second" if I have to challenge anyone to a duel.

Val: Does he need to bring weapons?

Me: I am more of an Iron Chef kind of dueler. Perhaps if he keeps a spatula handy?

And guess what Dear Sweet Bill had waiting on the table when  I got to the meeting the next morning?

The biggest, meanest looking spatula in the whole wide world! My fears of the smack-talking principal lady vanished instantly. Truth be told, I kind of wanted somebody to say something, so I could have an excuse to brandish such an imposing weapon.

Giant camp spatula: $18.95
Thirty stapled, collated copies of the district improvement plan: $35
Substitute teacher to cover classes for an all-day meeting: $60
Confused looks of the assembled district leaders when they saw the giant camp spatula sitting on the table for the duration of the all-day meeting: Priceless