The Tales of Five Falls

We may be in the midst of the summer season, but this post is about fall, or falls, as the case may be. Today we will be discussing five very different falls and their impact on my life.

The tale of the first fall began Saturday morning at our most recent '15 stake YSA excuse to interact with members of the opposite sex from the other side of the valley' ...I mean 'service project'. The setting for the 'service project' was our very own county fairgrounds. Our objective was to paint the bleachers, grandstands, fences, rodeo shoots, and squirrely members of various wards and branches. An hour and a half into the project, one of those squirrely, half-painted YSAs decided to fall off the top of the grandest of the grandstands. JUST KIDDING! No YSAs were harmed in the writing of this post!

No, the first fall was of a metaphorical nature. You see, one of the big advertising points of this activity was that all participants would get a free shirt...one of those nifty yellow "Mormon Helping Hands" shirts that you would only normally score if your home town was decimated by a tornado. "A free t-shirt without having to suffer through untold devastation, death, and destruction? Cool!" we all thought. Alas, we all thought wrong. Our hopes for nifty free shirts fell when we were informed that we had to give the shirts back at the end of the day.

We were all pretty bummed, especially after we discovered that the shirts were endowed with a magical power that made the YSA brethren actually speak to the YSA sisters. Really. While we were wearing those shirts, boys said a bunch of stuff to us. Stuff like, "Ummm...the other end of the roller is supposed to go in the paint," and, "You know, it might help if you got a little bit of the paint on the fence instead of dripping it on the ground," and even, "Hey, you just splattered paint all over my head!"

But while consoling each other about the loss of our magical helping hands shirts, a few of us got to talking about the abnormal amounts of rain that has recently effected the desert we call home and the river that runs through it. That discussion ends the tale of the first fall and begins the tale of the second.

After de-painting ourselves, Krystal, Lisa, and I decided to take quick trip upriver to see Star Falls at Cauldron Linn. The second fall came close to happening as we hiked down the steep, rock-covered, dirt road that leads to the river in our flip-flops and crocs, but we all thankfully managed to stay upright. The second fall also might have been the actual Star Falls waterfall that we hiked down to see, but since I didn't dare get close enough to the edge of the swollen, raging river to take a photo of the waterfall, we shan't count it either.

Instead, the second fall of this post is the fall from grace that we suffered after we talked our high councilman (who happened to be visiting the same spot with his family) into driving us back up the long dusty road to our car in his 4-wheel-drive truck. That meant that his sweet daughters had to ride all the way up the mountain in the back of the truck. It was hot, dusty, and judging from the screams of terror from the youngest, also kind of scary. Sorry girls.

The fall in the tale of the third fall is actually about a real fall, Shoshone Falls...

...and people's attempts to keep their loved ones from falling into the falls. I loved that people took the warning sign to heart and leashed both their small pets and their small children. In fact, I think I enjoyed the sight of the leashed-kidlet just as much as I enjoyed the sight of the beautiful, bone-crushing waterfalls. He was a nice distraction from the ever-present knowledge that nature is constantly coming up with bigger and better ways to do me in.

The fourth fall is when we fell off the "good health wagon" when we stopped at Carino's on the way home for some cheesy, oily, carbohydrate-filled goodness. But we didn't stress too much over that particular dietary dive. We actually enjoyed every moment of it, as witnessed by Lisa's pre-meal "ooooh" face and post-meal "ahhhhhh" face.

The fifth and final fall is the one my brother took while giving his first talk in his new YSA ward this Sunday. Poor Mikey passed out (twice) while speaking about a conference talk by Elder Eyring, that was ironically titled (and I am not making this up) "Man Down". (Hehehehehe "Man Down". Dude, that slays me!)

Mikey's great fall (which I'm sure will live on in singles ward history for many, many years) just goes to show how new Mikey is to the YSA scene. I told him that there are better ways to get close to the girls in his ward than creating a need for them to give him mouth to mouth resuscitation.

But all kidding aside, I'm glad Mikey decided to take the plunge and attend the singles ward. i mean, just think about all of the happy girls who went home after church and got to tell their parents that the cute, new returned missionary totally fell for them during the meeting. And if the bishop was having trouble receiving inspiration about what calling to give Mikey, it should be pretty obvious that he is highly qualified to pass out the ward bulletins before sacrament meeting. And Mikey really has no reason to be embarrassed. I'm sure that Elder Eyring will agree that summarizing his talks is not a job for the faint of heart. I could go on, but I'm afraid that if I annoy Mikey too much, he may drop me when he comes to visit in August . That would be a real downer during his trip, wouldn't it?